you are not crazy

Despite how you may be feeling right now, at this moment, you are not crazy.

This post is dedicated to all of those who are feeling like they’re either going crazy or those who feel like, “Yup, already there yesterday.” 

What’s happened lately in your world?

What has happened directly to you?

 What’s been impacting you lately?

 What happened to you 2, 12, 20 years ago?

You Are Not Crazy

Grief is the crazy pot-stirrer. The ruffler of feathers. The sleeping giant that wakes up, sometimes after 30 years. 

And, in its wake, it’s also the great clarifier.

I felt like I was going crazy at my worst. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, disregarded basic self-care, doctored for unexplained symptoms, dropped weight, started losing my hair, sought knowledge everywhere else but within myself (out of fear of what I would discover), and was part of the wine-mom culture before it was a “thing” (which is doing more harm than good, btw) and quit before that was a “thing,” too, in Nov. 2019.

Do you know someone who seems to be struggling and find yourself judging that person? 

I bet you’ve struggled a time or two as well. Perhaps, you, too, secretly feel crazy, but ya know…sometimes there’s this persona we grip onto so strongly that no amount of staring in the mirror can even crack. We refuse to see what we don’t want to see.

We can drag a person to the mirror, but if they refuse to open their eyes, what do you do?

The only reflection that matters is the one you see when you open your eyes. And, if you’re living out of integrity, you won’t be so inclined to look at yourself very long, if at all.

I know a beautiful soul in the online, entrepreneurial world who recently sported a shirt that read: Make Empathy Great Again. I need a shirt like that in my life. That is a mission I firmly get behind. Empathy just so happens to be my number one strength, too. So, of course, it’s a mission I would get behind. #missionempathy Let’s get that trending, shall we?

What are you refusing to see?

 Your own pain and suffering? 

 The pain and suffering of someone else because of what it brings up for you?

 As you move through your life the next few days, think about how you can make empathy great again in your world. 

People don’t ask for grief; it finds us. Always. No one can escape it. Sometimes, yes, it is self-inflicted; however, I believe this is mostly because of shame, which creates a divide between where we are and where we desire to be (emotionally and spiritually). Empathy is a bridge. 

And, if you’re unsure how to build that bridge, you don’t have to try to build it alone. I’m a message away. 

In the meantime, please put your head on your pillow tonight, knowing that you are not crazy. What you are feeling is normal and natural. If only someone would have told me that way back then, maybe I wouldn’t have felt so alone for as long as I did. More importantly, had I known then what I know now about grief, I would have believed it for myself. 

Sending you love + light this Friday and beyond. 💛

much love, victoria

P.S. In the context of using the word “crazy,” it’s not a response of fear, meanness, disregard toward, or a belief that I have about mental illness. Quite the contrary, it is how I described myself as I was going through postpartum depression and a mid-life unraveling in grief, which was something I was in total denial about, therefore, did not talk about at the time. I did what a good portion of people do – grieve alone. And, that’s the problem. When we’re deep in the weeds of feeling “crazy,” we don’t speak up out of fear of actually having that affirmed to be true. It’s a paradox, and until we can freely and openly talk about our suffering without criticism, analysis, or judgment, all of the political correctness in the world won’t change a darn thing, in my opinion. Be the empathy you wish to see in the world. 

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