Three Tips for Happiness

Happiness is different for everyone. For some people, it will be at peace with who they are. For others, it can be all about having a group of friends or family that are there for you unconditionally. Or, happiness might be having your dreams come true and having the freedom to act as you please.

No matter how you see being happy, being more satisfied with your life is something that isn’t too far out of reach. The habits that you have can help you to get there. You don’t have to look too far to see how habits create success. There is a reason why the military builds regiments into everything they set out to do. From being up at the butt-crack of dawn for exercise, ensuring work environments are free of clutter, to have processes and procedures for everything – all of these things build the foundation and structure to getting stuff done. I owe a lot of strengths I have to what I learned, not only in the military but about myself in the process of serving (particularly, what I’m capable of). 

Structures, systems, ways of BE-ing, and the habits that create the structure which become your foundation of success, ultimately lead to personal happiness. When we feel like we are accomplishing something, we feel great about that. Tracking your progress and paying attention to how far you’ve come is also important to keep the momentum going.

The habits that you have do make a difference in your life. Bad habits can be hard to break, but good habits can be ingrained into your life quite deeply. So with all of that in mind, there are some things that you can do to establish some healthy habits in your life and get you to where you want to be. If things aren’t working for you and you no longer need them in your life, then it is important to find what does and doesn’t work for you. And, start by being brutally honest with yourself. I knew alcohol use wasn’t working for me, so I quit drinking (cold turkey) for over 160 days. I lost my streak by making a conscious choice, and if/when I have a drink now, it is not without consciously choosing and bringing a whole lot more awareness around it as well. When I drink now, I am in the driver’s seat of the drinking experience rather than feeling like it has a hold on me or I am out of control (emotionally/physically). I bring conscious awareness to drinking now that did not exist before.

Think about your daily life. What are the things that you tend to do mindlessly? Do you resort to patterns or behaviors without really thinking about what it is you’re actually doing? Start there to look for ways to bring more conscious awareness and intention (which is so important) to what you’re doing by asking yourself why you’re doing it.

Back to the practicalities…


The exercise that you do isn’t just for your body. Having regular exercise helps reduce how stressed you are feeling and can help improve symptoms of things like anxiety. As wonderful as exercise can be for helping us to manage our anxiety, sometimes it isn’t enough. If your anxiety becomes too much, you may need to consider anxiety therapy to help you through the day. If it is impacting your day-to-day life, this can be a cause for concern. You may find that some support, along with exercise, can help to lift your worries and make them more manageable. Exercise can ease depression and give you a happiness boost but, to see the long-term effects, consistency is key. You will see yourself overcoming things and getting fitter, which boosts your confidence, too. You don’t have to become a marathon runner or bodybuilder to see the benefit of exercise, unless you want to, of course. Moving your body for at least half an hour each day can make a difference. However, if you don’t have thirty minutes every day, every day that you do something builds on the day before it – progress and commitment compounds. Just as our avoidance of doing healthy things ultimately contributes to the decline and demise of our mind, body, and spirit, the positive habits we build into our lives contribute to our healing. The pendulum can swing either way, and we have a choice in which way it goes – always. 

Be Honest

For habits to take form and become a part of your life, you have to be honest with yourself, again, about what is and isn’t working. And, sharing honestly with others helps to build an accountability piece that would not be there if you didn’t share your goals with others.

Being positive and generally having a sunnier outlook on life can help you feel positive and happier in life; as a rule, it is a good thing to follow. However, some bad things can happen, and these happen to anyone at any time. If you get bad news or do something wrong, don’t force yourself to be happy. It would help if you were honest about those unhappy moments. Please don’t dwell on them, but do something about it, whether making a change to avoid it happening again or finding a strategy to get you out of a negative funk. It is no one else’s responsibility but your own to shift your headspace. Sure, others can support you in your honesty about what is happening and support you in your quest to turn the page. However, the walk of actually doing it is all on you.

When you’re done being honest with yourself, then next comes the action piece. Some small actions could be walking outdoors, meeting with a caring friend, using something supportive like pure CBD oil, try a guided meditation (especially if you’re new to meditation, guided can be more helpful), or cooking yourself a healthy meal. You can’t be happy all the time, but it is a good idea to feel your feelings and not fake being happy.

Intentional Planning

If you feel busy, stressed, and overwhelmed, it could be because you have not planned anything out. It is a good idea to sit down at the start of each week and note what is going on or what tasks need to be done during the upcoming week. Having a rough idea of what you are doing and when will help you block out time, plan your time well, and make you feel happier as you will ticking things off and getting things achieved. 

Every Sunday evening, I fill in the week ahead. I only worry about the week in front of me. And daily, I am only concerned with that day. Before I go to bed, I finish the day with my gratitude journal, and I look ahead to the next day and brain dump anything that’s on my mind, so I’m not bringing it to my subconscious mind where it will negatively impact my sleep.

These days, my daily habits are getting up around 5:45 AM, scrape my tongue (the best feeling first thing in the morning 🙃), grab a cup of coffee, head to my office, and meditate for at least 15 minutes, write in my gratitude journal and then get some movement in (which varies between a power walk, yoga, or a strength exercise). This all takes me to about 7 AM and, I have started my day for ME. Let me add, it took me a long time (a really long time and lots of trial and error) to find a flow that felt good for me (including exercise). I am so led by how I feel that following an exercise program with little variation would lead me to boredom real quick, so I ended up doing nothing. I was finding it hard to stick with anything. However, walking allows me time to fill my brain with inspiration and good vibes via podcasts (a good reason for doing it for me). For other forms of movement, I have found apps like FitOn work well for me because, with all of the options, I can go with the flow of how I’m feeling or what I’m in the mood to do.

There is no magic bullet for happiness; we all know this. However, we can chase feeling depressed, or we can chase feeling good. Start your day for yourself. Turn off the news. Turn off your phone every once in a while. Get tapped into what you’re feeling. If it’s anything less than happy, reach for the next best feeling, and keep reaching for the next best feeling until you feel inner peace. To me, inner peace is the ultimate happiness.

 What does it mean to be happy to you? I invite you to share in the comments below? Start there and work your way backward, incorporating healthy elements into your life that feel good for you and that will contribute to that mission.

much love, victoria




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