Have you seen the Netflix Series, Cobra Kai? It’s a follow-up comedy-drama to the characters of The Karate Kid, the coming of age movies from the 1980s.

My husband had started watching it, and not intending to, I actually got into it myself. It’s actually pretty funny at parts, but too, is relatable as many of us grow up not being the popular kid in school. Many kids also have parents who shoot down their dreams; even parents that take it further and put them down.

Watching the show inspired this blog post, along with many of the conversations I’ve been having lately with grievers for my podcast, Grieving Voices.

Grief is the loss of hopes, dreams, and expectations.

Over the past couple of months, I’ve heard stories of all kinds of loss. The one common thread through many losses is the loss of hopes, dreams, and expectations.

Whether it’s been a career you didn’t chase, a degree you put on the back-burner, a child born with special needs, or chronic illness that has taken over every aspect of your life – there is a loss of hopes, dreams, and expectations.

Which is…what again?

GRIEF!

The Cobra Kai series takes the viewer back to the character’s “glory days,” past and present decisions made, and experiences in the present that cause “flashbacks” if you will. We all experience these moments as adults. As kids, many of us have felt, at one time or another, that our lives were meant to go a certain way based on our current reality, or we had some sort of expectation (or hope) of how life would turn out.

As a kid, I wasn’t coordinated. I did not have athletic ability. As I’ve watched this series, I related to the kids who had been picked on and had my own flashback moment. Even watching the latest season of Bachelorette, where Clare shared how she was teased as a kid, is something that has stuck with her and, I resonated with her story. There are a lot of hurting people out in the world hurting people by being bullies. And, bullies aren’t just on the playground. They’re by the water cooler, in the public restroom, at the checkout line, sitting in the cubical next to you, or maybe even in your own home.

I am not making this blog post out to be a pity-party. I’ve learned to flip that script. I feel strong in body but more importantly, far stronger in mind – mentally and emotionally. But, what if you don’t?

Were you an insecure kid? Or, did you start out with confidence but then life-experiences later in life change all that?

How do you repair the feelings associated with a loss of hopes, dreams, and expectations (i.e, grief)?

The action steps of doing just that are what we do in grief recovery.

Don’t let grief that originated from the past dictate your future. Do you want to put 2020 in the rearview and begin 2021 with an emotional clean slate? Email me about how I can help you go into 2021 by shedding the layers keeping the authentic you hidden behind the loss of hopes, dreams, and expectations.

much love, victoria

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