Emotions, Grief Tips, Grieving Voices Podcast, Growth, Mind/Body Wellness, Pespective, Podcast, solo episode, Spirituality |
Searching for Alignment
SHOW NOTES SUMMARY:
Have you ever felt like a ship adrift, disconnected from your true north? In this profound journey we call life, alignment with our authentic selves is often clouded by the fog of grief and loss. But what if I told you there’s a compass waiting to guide you back to yourself?
Tune in to this week’s episode of “Grieving Voices,” where I unveil the transformative potential of the Youmap framework.
In this heartfelt session:
– Explore what it means to live in alignment with our authentic selves and how misalignment can lead to grief.
– Discover the four pillars – strengths, values, skills, personality – that form the foundation of living an aligned life in the Youmap framework.
– Learn about the various forms of grief that arise when we stray from our true path.
– Emphasize the importance of self-understanding as a tool for unlocking one’s potential.
Who Can Benefit From Youmap?
– The newly widowed seeking new beginnings
– Those who’ve experienced job loss
– New divorcees aiming for self-discovery
It also holds value for college-bound students navigating their future paths.
Whether facing significant life transitions or seeking deeper self-understanding, Youmap offers clarity and direction. And for those supporting others through loss? It’s essential knowledge.
Special Anniversary Giveaway Announcement:
The Unleashed Heart is turning 5! 🥳 In Celebrating five years of transforming lives and supporting grievers, I’m giving a special giveaway. Get a chance to win 2 prizes: a 60-minute Distance Energy Healing Session and a 60-minute Distance Heart with Ears Session 🎉 The giveaway starts this January 11, 2024, and ends on January 23, 2024. The winners will be announced on the 5th-anniversary date, January 23. I encouraged listeners to join and participate. For more details on entering the giveaway, check the resources below.
Dive deep into who you are and discover what makes you tick; it’s time to live a life aligned with your purpose!
Key Takeaway:
Misalignment with our authentic selves can manifest as various forms of grief – from career dissatisfaction to deep personal regret. But there’s hope!
Remember: “You always had the power, my dear. You just had to learn it for yourself.”
RESOURCES:
- YouMap
- Episode Sponsor: Magic Mind | Use the code “GRIEVINGVOICES” to receive one month free with a 3-month subscription. This special promotion is only for January!
- 5th Anniversary Giveaway! Register before 1/23/2024 at 11 AM CST to win a 60-minute Distance Energy Healing Session OR a 60-minute Distance Heart with Ears Session! ✨
_______
NEED HELP?
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
- Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7 support via text message. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained Crisis Counselor
If you are struggling with grief due to any of the 40+ losses, free resources are available HERE.
CONNECT WITH VICTORIA:
Victoria Volk
00:01:29 – 00:01:56
Welcome back to another episode of Grieving Voices. I am your host, Victoria V. And today, I have a thought-provoking topic to explore, finding alignment in our lives and the grief that can arise when we stray from our authentic selves.
Victoria Volk
00:01:57 – 00:02:56
In this episode, I’ll dive into alignment, its impact on our well-being, and the steps to align our lives with our strengths, values, skills, and personality, which these are the 4 pillars of what’s called the Youmap. So grab a cup of tea, find a comfortable spot, and let’s dig in, shall we? I wanna begin to explore what it means to live a life in alignment with our authentic selves. Alignment is the state of being where our actions, choices, and pursuits align with our core strengths, values, skills, and personality, essentially, the essence of who we are, which is provided as a snapshot in what’s called a Youmap. For those who are new to this podcast or who haven’t heard of Youmap before, Youmap is a comprehensive framework and a tool that helps individuals better understand themselves and align their lives with their authentic selves.
Victoria Volk
00:02:57 – 00:04:08
It comprises 4 pillars, your top five strengths, values, preferred and least preferred skills, and how you’re wired or your personality. By exploring these aspects of ourselves, we gain clarity on our unique gifts, what is most important to us, our abilities, and how we are inspired. Youmap provides a language and framework to articulate our strengths and gifts to the world, and it helps us make informed decisions and pursue opportunities that align with who we truly are. When we deviate from this alignment that’s expressed in our unique Youmap, grief can emerge as we mourn the loss of our true selves and the missed opportunities that come with it. A quick rundown of the different grief experiences that can arise from living a life that is not in sync with our Youmap, saying yes or mistakenly no, like likely due to the lack of clarity, uncertainty, and or fear to opportunities, pursuing the wrong partners or careers, dishonoring our own values, burnout from not understanding or misapplying your skill set, overuse of your strengths.
Victoria Volk
00:04:08 – 00:04:51
For example, if one of your top five strengths is responsibility, you’ve likely found yourself in burnout, especially if you also have the belief strength in your top five. Moving on, why does knowing all of this even matter? The awareness and understanding of self is the gateway, I believe, to all of the potential, your potential, that life has to offer. The Youmap Framework provides us with a powerful tool for understanding ourselves and cultivating alignment in our lives. The 4 pillars, again, strengths, values, skills and personality are discovered through 4 different assessments that typically take 2 hours or less to complete.
Victoria Volk
00:04:51 – 00:05:27
At the end of it, you have the Youmap snapshot of who you are, providing you with the language of what you have to offer the world and others. You discover what is most important to you through your values. As a result and through coaching, you’ll recognize where there may be need for boundaries to be put into place. And overall, the magic and the uniqueness that is you, that you bring to those around you. By clarifying our strengths, values, skills, and personality, we can make informed decisions, pursue meaningful opportunities, and create a life that resonates with our true selves.
Victoria Volk
00:05:27 – 00:06:01
The whole point of the Youmap is to bring to the forefront what makes you, you. That being said, because we are souls having a human experience, we also navigate the mess and challenges of life, and the shadows of our gifts can also be expressed in covert subconscious ways. Living a life out of alignment can lead to a deep sense of grief. We may mourn the loss of time, energy, and potential that could have been directed toward Suits that align with our true selves. The emotional toll of misalignment impacts us and those with whom we live in close proximity and in relationships.
Victoria Volk
00:06:01 – 00:06:33
You’re probably not living in full expression of your magic. On the other side of that coin, maybe you believe you are living in alignment or are making great strides towards doing so. Have you then been told you’re too much, or do you have people in your life who are uncomfortable seeing you succeed at living in alignment? It’s such a mind trip figuring this all out, but I never said awareness would be painless. These realizations and revelations of what you want for your life are often met with resistance and naysaying from others.
Victoria Volk
00:06:33 – 00:07:03
As a result, we can fall back into those old familiar belief patterns that then hold us back. Acknowledging and processing our grief around these awarenesses can pave the way for a more fulfilling and purpose driven existence. Before I go on to share who Youmap is for, let me pause to share about the sponsor of this episode, Magicmind. Magicmind helped me write about this podcast episode. I don’t usually write out an episode, rather I usually record off the cuff.
Victoria Volk
00:07:03 – 00:07:25
However, I felt inspired to write this episode out, and perhaps in part, due to the magic mind shot I took this morning. The words have just flowed, so I ran with it. Magicmind is a 2 ounce shot that gives 7 hours of flow state. Customers report a 40% boost to productivity on average.,Take it alongside your usual morning coffee or tea or in place of.
Victoria Volk
00:07:25 – 00:08:09
Reduce stress, gain focus and clarity, steady and calm energy, which I can attest to and without jitters, by the way, and see the benefits build with daily use. And for you, my dear listeners, only for the month of January, Magicmind is offering 1 month free with a 3-month subscription when you use my link atmagicmind.com/Jan GrievingVoices, j a n, grieving voices, and with my code, grieving voices. That’s an extra 20% off, which gets you to 75% off to give it a good try. Again, this only lasts until the end of January, so hurry up before it goes away. Magicmind.com/jangrievingvoices and code grieving voices.
Victoria Volk
00:08:09 – 00:08:40
The link is also in the show notes. Now let’s focus and get back to the Youmap, now that you understand the importance of alignment and the grief that can arise from misalignment, there’s one thing you can do right now, discover yourself in your Youmap. Youmap isn’t just for the young or middle aged adult who is newly widowed and has been awakened to the fragility of life after loss and wants to embark on something new. It’s not just for the adult suffered a job loss and feels like a needle in the haystack of other applicants.
Victoria Volk
00:08:40 – 00:09:13
And it’s not just for the new divorcee who wants to understand themselves better and is in need of a change. Youmap is also for college bound students. You may have heard this story before in a previous episode where I discussed Youmap, but if not, my son, now 18, dreamed of enlisting in the marine since he was around age 12. However, life threw him a curve ball that made that dream impossible when he was going on 17. He decided to pursue nursing through that life-altering experience and with the newfound awareness his Youmap gave him.
Victoria Volk
00:09:13 – 00:09:52
He’s currently a freshman at college and loves what he is learning. He has also become the certified nursing assistant and finds a lot of joy in working with the elderly. However, he has chosen to pursue the area of neonatal and pediatrics instead. I also recently had my soon to be college bound daughter complete it, and it was uncanny how spot on her strengths were, which are all people facing and relating strengths, which is rare to have all 5 strengths in 1 category. I know that 1 pitfall she may experience due to all 5 being in relating is that she will never feel within herself that she is making a difference.
Victoria Volk
00:09:52 – 00:10:15
She will need to ask for feedback from others on how she has helped them to feel within herself that she’s having a positive impact. She is also planning to pursue a degree in nursing. However, she has an interest in the field of psychology. Finding alignment is a lifelong process. It requires self-reflection, courage, and a willingness to embrace change.
Victoria Volk
00:10:15 – 00:10:47
By cultivating awareness of our strengths, values, skills and personality, we can navigate the grief of misalignment and embark on a transform transformative journey toward living a life that is a true reflection of who we are, remember, you can create a life of purpose and alignment. And as the good witch, Glenda, in The Wizard of Oz says to Dorothy, I will say to you now. You always had the power, my dear. You just had to learn it for yourself. To learn more about Youmap, head to my website.
Victoria Volk
00:10:47 – 00:11:10
And under services, you will find a link to Youmap with more information at theunleashedheart.com under services, the link will also be in the show notes. Around the new year, you’ll see new your new you said a lot. Rather, I will say, new year evolved you. It’s more conducive, I think, to the human experience. We are always a work in progress.
Victoria Volk
00:11:10 – 00:11:39
Youmap is a tool among several others that I offer that can help you with your evolution. Hey. Speaking of evolution, before I let you go today, I just wanted to share that last week on January 11th, I launched a giveaway. On the 23rd of this month is my business’s 5th anniversary. And to celebrate, I’m giving away A 60-minute distance healing session and also a 60-minute distance heart with ears session.
Victoria Volk
00:11:39 – 00:12:18
There are multiple ways to enter, And this will run into through next week, 23rd, at 11 AM Central Standard Time. So head on over to theunleashed heart.com/5th anniversarygiveaway, or there’s gonna be a link in the show notes where you can easily sign up and register there. And check out social media @theunleashedheart on Instagram, Victoria The Unleashed Heart on Facebook, and it’ll be shared in all those places as well. And I hope you enter. And if you are lucky to win, I look forward to meeting you.
Victoria Volk
00:12:18 – 00:12:45
I just wanted to do something fun to celebrate 5 years, which has been very much an evolution in my business as well, and to share my joy and my passion and to give back to the community that has been so supportive of me and my podcast and the work that I do. So good luck, my friends. Until next time, remember, when you unleash your heart, you unleash your life. Much love.
Grieving Voices Podcast, Podcast, solo episode |
Seven Takeaways From 2023
SHOW NOTES SUMMARY:
In a world constantly throwing curveballs our way, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But what if we could find wisdom in unexpected places?
In this week’s episode, I share some personal key takeaways from my 2023 life experience that might just inspire you to view your daily challenges through a new lens.
From never underestimating the power of saving pennies to your future feeling like it could come down to a coin toss, there are lessons weaved through all of our life’s experiences – including parenting!
Children have this remarkable ability to bounce back from setbacks with an enviable positivity—something adults often struggle with. They can also be some of our best teachers, too! A couple of my favorite life takeaways come from my parenting experiences.
Additionally, through this week’s episode, you will learn how persistence can pay off, not just in terms of goals or ambitions but also in terms of advocating for your health. And that embracing authenticity, self-awareness, and looking at relationships as mirrors are all unexpected places we can gain wisdom.
It is my hope, that by the end of this week’s episode, you’ll feel inspired to learn more deeply about yourself, perhaps look at situations in your life with a renewed or fresh perspective, and be open to the learning that is always available to us. Whether the teachings happen through parenting, other relationships, courses, programs, mentors, or just plain old crappy situations, the opportunities to grow are boundless.
In 2024, may you discover more of what makes you amazing, the shadow parts that may need some healing and love, and what matters most to you. Remember: self-knowledge empowers us beyond others’ perceptions.
RESOURCES:
_______
NEED HELP?
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
- Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7 support via text message. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained Crisis Counselor
If you are struggling with grief due to any of the 40+ losses, free resources are available HERE.
CONNECT WITH VICTORIA:
Victoria Volk
(00:00:03 – 00:00:18)
Hello. Hello. Thank you for tuning in to Grieving Voices, Voice, and Happy New Year. Happy 2023. I hope this coming year is filled with health and prosperity for you.
Victoria Volk
(00:00:19 – 00:00:58)
And today, I just wanted to share seven takeaways from 2023, and I’m just gonna dig right in. So this first takeaway and a nugget of wisdom it’s from my 98-year-old aunt who passed away in early 2023. And the takeaway is change is money too. In a world where cash is becoming less and less king, where many places don’t even take cash, which is mind-blowing to me. She managed to tuck away more than $20,000 over her lifetime in loose change.
Victoria Volk
(00:00:59 – 00:01:23)
She would keep it in her deep freeze in a coffee can. And, I guess when you’ve lived through the great depression and had nothing, you learn the value of saving and making every penny count. And, yeah, change is money too. Right? When I find a penny on the ground, I pick it up because all day long, you’ll have good luck.
Victoria Volk
(00:01:23 – 00:01:30)
Right? But I always say to my kids, change is money too. Pennies are money too. It all adds up. Takeaway number 2.
Victoria Volk
(00:01:31 – 00:02:01)
Our kids can be our best teachers if we pay attention. And although I support my kids playing sports, I am not a parent with the mindset that sports are life. I believe the magic of who we are is in the mind, not in our physical abilities. But, anyway, even though my son didn’t get to play much in basketball and mostly sat on the bench, he still showed up at practice every single day. He still put in the work.
Victoria Volk
(00:02:01 – 00:02:20)
And during the games, he was the loudest cheerleader for his teammates. He was the one who pumped everyone up, and I have zero doubts that his attitude made a difference. He didn’t pout. He didn’t whine or complain. He showed up as himself, which was enough.
Victoria Volk
(00:02:21 – 00:03:09)
As adults, things don’t always go according to plan or how we hope, but how we respond to life’s challenges reveals to us where we may have some growth opportunity. It’s not lost on me that just the year before, my son had had a life-changing accident that had caused a massive shift in his attitude. And he couldn’t play football that same year, which he loved, but he showed up anyway for his team as their water boy. So just as kids go through adversity and they often will learn and grow, as adults, we too can see challenges as an opportunity to grow and evolve or allow them to beat us down. So When adversity comes your child’s way, just be an observer.
Victoria Volk
(00:03:09 – 00:03:35)
See how they respond. Because if they’re responding in a way that isn’t necessarily in a growth trajectory, maybe there’s something there for you to learn. What are you emulating for your children in terms of how you respond to life’s challenges? Because they are always watching. They were always listening, and they are always observing.
Victoria Volk
(00:03:38 – 00:03:59)
Takeaway number 3. Never give up on a mission. One of my missions was to become a certified excuse me. Certified veteran-owned small business. That’s a mouthful. Since I had started the Unleashed Heart, in January 2019, which hello.
Victoria Volk
(00:03:59 – 00:04:30)
My 5 year anniversary is coming up on the 19th., It was a goal of mine since then, since I started this business. It took 4 years, but I accomplished just that in January of this year. One of the main reasons it took so long was partly my own mental blocks and beliefs around how hard or arduous I believed and viewed getting it done, which it was it’s a lot of paperwork. And the process just seemed very daunting to me.
Victoria Volk
(00:04:31 – 00:05:06)
However, President Biden had actually passed some sort of bill or something. I can’t recall right now what it was, but that made the process easier and more streamlined. And literally in one day, I had the information submitted and heard back within a few days that it was a done deal. So I am a certified veteran-owned small business, so that’s pretty awesome. But before we dive into takeaway number 4, if you need some support in completing a mission, perhaps Magicmind may be for you.
Victoria Volk
(00:05:07 – 00:05:42)
Magicmind is sponsoring this episode. And as a user myself, this little 2 ounce shot of green magic that helps me get into a 7 hour flow state. It helps you dial in on what you’re setting out to get it to accomplish with lion’s mane mushroom, cytocholine, and more for focus, cordyceps mushroom, and ceremonial matcha, and more for energy, and ashwagandha and turmeric and even more for less stress. You’ll be wondering where it’s been all your life. Listeners of Grieving Voices can now get an exclusive offer.
Victoria Volk
(00:05:43 – 00:06:03)
Head to magicmind.com/grievingvoices, and enter the code grieving voices at checkout for 20% off your order. Yes. You heard that right. 20% off just for being a part of my podcast community. And this month in January, they’re also launching in all sprouts markets.
Victoria Volk
(00:06:04 – 00:06:28)
Why settle for the ordinary when you can experience the extraordinary with MagicMind?, Elevate your mind, elevate your life. Visit magicmind.com/jangrieving voices and use the code grieving voices to save 20% on a one-time purchase or even more when you choose the subscription option. The link is in the show notes. Alright.
Victoria Volk
(00:06:28 – 00:06:49)
So takeaway number 4, be yourself. Everyone else is taken. This gem is another takeaway from an experience with my son. He had applied for a nursing scholarship program at a university. And of the over 100 applicants, he was chosen as an alternate.
Victoria Volk
(00:06:50 – 00:07:22)
He is still in that program, but the only the one thing I had told him when he was being interviewed was to be himself. I knew the growth he had had in the year prior set him up for that day, and he learned so much about life and himself. And our relationship exponentially improved, including our communication. And being interviewed by that panel for the scholarship didn’t require him to embellish or stretch any truth. Surely, he could have done that, but stating why he was there, being honest, and sharing from his heart was all that was required.
Victoria Volk
(00:07:23 – 00:08:08)
I too have found that the more I lean into the fact that who I am is enough, that I don’t have to change myself for the approval of others, and that knowing that what I have to offer the world and having and expressing passion for my endeavors is enough. The world can feel like 1 giant popularity contest, particularly in social structures of work, relationships, and certainly in business. However, imagine the freedom of just being yourself and that being enough. That may seem naive and Pollyanna of me, but rejection is a wound most of us are familiar with; it doesn’t feel good. And we carry that wound – often for a lifetime.
Victoria Volk
(00:08:09 – 00:08:31)
So, again, be yourself. Those who are meant to be in your life will be, and those who aren’t will fade into the background. Which brings me to takeaway number 5. No one will ever care more about you and your health and body more than you. Advocating for yourself is self-care.
Victoria Volk
(00:08:32 – 00:08:58)
This one is still a little raw for me. I’m still processing the experience I had with my health for the majority of 2023. Basically, for 10 months straight, I felt like I was in a fight or flight state, feeling like I was in medical limbo. It started with a mammogram in early February. It would take 10 months for me to get a clear-cut answer as to whether or not I had breast cancer.
Victoria Volk
(00:08:59 – 00:09:43)
I felt like my life came down to the flip of a coin. I had gotten a BI-RADS 3, probably benign result, which just google it. You’ll find the answer, what that really is, because there’s a scale they have. But, however, after even a follow-up 3 months later, after and after my one breast was becoming larger than the other, it was still not determined what the lumps, which I had 1 in each breast, actually were. In fact, 3 months later, after pushing for a second opinion reading of the radiology which, hello, is a patient’s right, and I felt shamed for wanting and pushing for it.
Victoria Volk
(00:09:43 – 00:10:13)
It still could not be determined by that 2nd radiologist what the lumps actually were. It would take another 6 months in going to a different facility with different and better equipment. In my opinion, after seeing the difference side by side that I got the clear answers I was seeking and that I felt confident in those answers. And that’s really all I wanted. I wanted to feel confident in the results, and I didn’t feel confident.
Victoria Volk
(00:10:14 – 00:10:47)
Because number 1, no one explained anything. Number 2, they were unclear. And 3, having dense breasts and knowing the changes I had experienced only added to my concern. And I have to give a shout out to the VA and my doctor and the care that was given to me and having my concerns listened to. Without my VA doctor being on board with my concerns, validating that there was something there that should be looked into further, I would probably still feel like my future was down to the flip of a coin.
Victoria Volk
(00:10:48 – 00:11:32)
I can’t even put into words the mind fuck that 2023 was for me because of this. But it was because of this experience that I decided to take my health into my own hands and control what I could control. If I was going to have cancer, I wanted my body to be prepared for a fight. I got myself a nutrition and fitness coach, and in 3 months, transformed my relationship with food, learned all about macros, the importance of protein, particularly how women don’t eat near enough, and I definitely wasn’t eating near enough, and lost a total of 15 inches even though I only lost 5 pounds. But I felt the strongest I had in years.
Victoria Volk
(00:11:33 – 00:12:06)
I’m still working with that coach, and I’m currently in a cut, which hasn’t gone as I hoped as I had some setbacks. Again, coming back to the whole mind fuck this whole ordeal was. So with the holidays behind me, I’m getting back on track, and that feels good. I feel like I can go into 2024 with this whole deal behind me, but I want to share that as I was going through breast cancer. This whole scare of it being just a mere possibility.
Victoria Volk
(00:12:07 – 00:12:34)
2 of my previous podcast guests had found out that they did and do have breast cancer. Lindsay Joy and Maha Bodi. Please go check out their GoFundMe links in the show notes. Lindsay Joy has made it to the other side of her treatment, and Maha is just at the start of her cancer journey. When I found out about Maha’s diagnosis just in the last 2 weeks, I found myself going into warrior mode.
Victoria Volk
(00:12:34 – 00:13:20)
I realized that I had prepared myself for the worst news of my life. And when I received the good news, it was as if that warrior energy had nowhere to go. I’ve had to recognize how my experience from the situation or how my experience was influencing how I was showing up in conversation with. Only in zooming out from the situation have I been able to see that I still have some healing to do around that whole experience. It turns out when you feel like you’re preparing for something not good, when your intuition and gut tells you something isn’t right, but then that turns out to be wrong even in the best way, it screws you up a little.
Victoria Volk
(00:13:21 – 00:13:48)
So I’ve been feeling a bit out of sorts lately, struggling with how can I ever learn to trust my intuition again when I had it so wrong, and that’s where I’m working to heal? Meanwhile, someone I know 2,000 miles away has been completely blindsided. Some people may ask, why me? Here I sit wondering in some weird fucked up way. Why not me?
Victoria Volk
(00:13:49 – 00:14:19)
So, yeah, that really did a number on me, and I’ve been leaning on the tools in my toolbox. But the one thing that has helped me most is having the awareness around it all. You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge, which brings me to takeaway number 6, relationships are mirrors. When my girls fight like cats and dogs, I remind them that friends will come and go, but you always have your sister. Friendships are just playing fucking hard sometimes.
Victoria Volk
(00:14:19 – 00:14:42)
People will disappoint you. People will not show up how you need them to. Your triggers will show up as projections and fears, and others will respond. It’s the way of the world. What I didn’t understand until I dove headfirst into human design later in 2023 is that as a manifestor type, I’m always initiating others.
Victoria Volk
(00:14:42 – 00:15:00)
Always. Manifestors are here as the initiators. It’s not a surprise to me that I find myself initiating transformation in the lives of others as that relates to their grief and emotional stories. I was built for this work. It is the energy I chose when I came into this physical body.
Victoria Volk
(00:15:01 – 00:15:47)
I’m here to initiate change and action and bring ideas and things into physical form. This is not an energy I can turn off. It just happens, and it just is. Discovering this about myself and having this newfound awareness, reflecting and looking within helped me to recognize where this was causing suffering in my life within the context of relationships. It wasn’t the initiating that was causing the suffering being who I am, but rather not being conscious of it, not showing up to relationships without the conscious awareness of it is what was causing me unnecessary suffering because sometimes, others are simply not ready for it or just flat out reject it or me.
Victoria Volk
(00:15:47 – 00:16:28)
I am not here to respond like most of the world who are manifesting generators and generators. So having to wait to respond or approaching relationships from a place of wounding, which number 1, being rejection, which is a core wound for manifestors just because of how our energy works was only being mirrored back to me and showing me where I had my own inner work to do. I worked through this over the course of months. And when I came to a neutral place after only riding my emotional authority wave for literal months, which will only make sense to you if you’re familiar with human design. But if you’re an emotional authority, hello.
Victoria Volk
(00:16:28 – 00:17:19)
I see you. But only after riding that wave and then using my strategy as a manifestor, which is to inform, did I feel emotional freedom? I was no longer approaching things from wounding, but rather a clearly communicated line in the sand that I would no longer be waiting to respond and that I would no longer be waiting to be wanted and included in those relationships. Relationships are a huge theme that I will be continuing to explore in 2024 as a manifestor because I’ve all already learned how valuable the information news when it’s actually put into practice. I will continue to experiment with my strategy of informing and learning how I can be more aligned according to my energy type in all aspects of my life.
Victoria Volk
(00:17:20 – 00:17:40)
There’s so much gold there to learn and discover. I Highly recommend checking out your human design. And if you’re ready, dig deep and see how it can help you better understand yourself and others you know and love. And there will be a link in the show notes to that. And finally, takeaway number 7.
Victoria Volk
(00:17:41 – 00:18:13)
On the note of awareness, if there’s something you want to learn, there’s a program, course, or mentor for it. Seek out the teachings for the support. In 2023, I got a speaking coach to help me learn how to write a captivating speech and become a better presenter and speaker because one of my goals is to do more public speaking. Again, this comes back to my strategy as a manifestor, which is to inform. I get to inform through this podcast, through online content, and the work I do with clients.
Victoria Volk
(00:18:14 – 00:18:44)
Public speaking is just another avenue where I get to align my life with my strategy to inform. I’ve also taken a few other programs that are helping me to explore my wishing more deeply because hello. I really got it wrong, so I’m trying to learn more about that. I’ve also been reading books on human design and a program for manifestors specifically. And I’m also, exploring other teachings to help me build my authority as a grief expert.
Victoria Volk
(00:18:46 – 00:19:06)
We live in an amazing time where information is literally at our fingertips. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I have never understood boredom. But with 3 thinking themes in my Youmap and a thirst for knowledge and information. In my mind, there is always more to learn.
Victoria Volk
(00:19:06 – 00:19:57)
And with my manifestor energy, there’s always something to do even if it’s meditating and learning to just be, which is also something I intend to incorporate more back into my life in 2024. Meditation is amazing for getting to a neutral state. And as an emotional type, it behooves me to empower myself in that department. So these are my takeaways, my 7 takeaways from 2023, some a bit heavy, some a bit lighter. But I think all of them are little golden nuggets of pieces that I’ve personally taken away, through my 2023 experience and have learned from and will continue to learn from moving forward into 2024.
Victoria Volk
(00:19:58 – 00:20:39)
So in the show notes, you will find, information for the sponsor for Magicmind. You will find the GoFundMe for Lindsay Joy and Maha Bodi. There will also be a link to learn your human design and also a link to Youmap information. I just briefly touched on the Youmap, but the thing is the more you know yourself, the less you look to others to tell you who you are. So whether that is through Youmap, through human design, through all of these things that are available this information available at your fingertips to help you to better understand yourself.
Victoria Volk
(00:20:40 – 00:21:03)
And that’s actually been one of my missions probably since about 2014 to really understand myself, which is an ongoing process. And I don’t imagine I’ll be stopping anytime soon. So thank you for listening to this week’s episode., I hope you found it helpful. I hope you found it inspirational.
Victoria Volk
(00:21:04 – 00:21:39)
Maybe some pieces resonated with you that, you’d like to share with me. I would love for you as a listener to inform me. If you found this helpful or any other episode for that matter, it is my service to you in doing this, and it lights me up. And so thank you so much for being here, for listening in 2023, for sharing the episodes if you did, for leaving a review if you found it bowl. And remember, when you unleash your heart, you unleash your life.
Grieving Voices Guest, Grieving Voices Podcast, Podcast |
6 Tips For Getting Out of a Slump
SHOW NOTES SUMMARY:
In this week’s episode, we dive deep into self-improvement and personal growth.
Today’s episode is about:
- Exploring the dynamic between motivation and determination and why determination is often more potent in overcoming challenges (including grief).
- Discovering the key differences between these concepts and how harnessing determination can lead to more success and empowerment.
- In this episode, I also share with you how determination played a role in me becoming the person I am today.
Motivation and determination play vital roles in the pursuit of success, but determination is often considered more critical in the long run. While motivation can provide the initial drive and enthusiasm to start a journey, it tends to fluctuate over time and may not always be present. In this episode, I explore motivation and determination and the role of each in our lives, even in times of challenge.
On the other hand, determination embodies a relentless commitment to achieving goals, even in the face of adversity and challenges. Determination keeps individuals going when the initial excitement fades away, and obstacles threaten to derail their progress. Determination fuels resilience, perseverance, and unwavering focus, pushing people to overcome setbacks and stay on track toward their objectives.
While motivation can ignite the spark, determination keeps the fire burning. Combining both elements can be a powerful approach, as motivation can be the catalyst for building determination, creating a resilient mindset that propels individuals toward their dreams and the will to reach the other side of adversity.
RESOURCES:
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NEED HELP?
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
- Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7 support via text message. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained Crisis Counselor
If you are struggling with grief due to any of the 40+ losses, free resources are available HERE.
Are you enjoying the podcast? Check out my bi-weekly newsletter, The Unleashed Letters.
CONNECT WITH VICTORIA:
Victoria Volk: Hey there. Thank you so much for tuning in to this week’s episode, which is episode 153 five tips for getting out of a slump and I can’t tell you how many times I have been there. Probably just like you as you’re listening to this, saying, raising your hand, saying, yep, that’s me. I’m in a slump, whether it’s physically, emotionally, mentally, all the ways we find ourselves feeling like our feet are planted in quicksand or concrete. Right? Like we have a really difficult time putting one foot in front of the other.
Victoria Volk: We lack the motivation, right, to get ourselves out of this pit we find ourselves in, and it can be in relationships too. Right? Like, there’s so many ways that we find ourselves in a slump. So this is not going to be directly correlated with any type of slump whether it’s physical or mental emotional, relational, anything like that, this is going to be a very general overarching episode about getting out of a slump no matter what that slump is.
And it’s inspired by my coach actually who my it’s she’s actually my fitness and nutrition coach. I am a coach. I’m a grief coach, grief therapist, whatever you want to call me. I do energy healing work, but I’m someone who recognizes that I need support as well. And any coach or therapist or anyone you choose to work with who doesn’t themselves have a coach, not saying that’s wrong or bad, I mean, I’ve gone through phases where I didn’t have a coach or a mentor or something like that. But in the areas of my life where I know, I’ve needed support. I’ve sought it out.
Victoria Volk: I currently have a speaking coach. And mentor and like I said, I just recently started with a nutrition and fitness coach and it’s pushed me beyond my comfort zone for sure. I am learning so much about food and reading labels and shifting my relationship with food which stems from my childhood. I can talk about that later in this podcast, not in this episode, but I think after I’ve been at it for a while, I’ll share my experience with you all, but I just think these what areas of your life could you use some mentoring or support or coaching. It’s not wrong. It’s not bad. It helps you grow. It gets you out of your comfort zone. It helps you to evolve and develop yourself. And really, I mean, the best version of yourself is the best version you give to others. And so I’m one of my values is growth. So that’s me living out my value of personal growth or growth in development. That’s very important to me. And when I stop doing that, I will be dead.
Victoria Volk: So I’ll get into values a little bit. In this episode because that does play a role and what motivates us. But this episode is a little bit about motivation versus determination and as well. And so I’m gonna touch on a lot of different things here, but there will be six tips that I will provide you. I think I said five, but I think I actually wrote a six one, so this is six tips for getting out of a slump.
Victoria Volk: I’d like to start out talking about motivation. There are things that we do to get ourselves motivated. We may have grief over our body image. And so if we have grief over our body image, we might put pictures of the physique of people that we don’t even know on our mirrors or inner lockers at work or in our cubicles or on our phones or places where we can see them to inspire us to keep going. We might not even know those people. Right? But it’s just a visual cue. Like, this is what I want. And it can be effective and I suppose like manifestation and having what do you call those boards, vision board, so to speak. Or you can put a picture of yourself when you were younger. There are many people who do that too. Like, your younger self, your slimmer, trimmer, healthier, fitter self. Right? So that’s another thing that people often can do to keep themselves motivated. Right? But you’re not the same person you used to be. And especially if you are a female and you’ve had children, you’re definitely not going to have the same body composition and look that you did when you were twenty, it’s not going to happen, most likely.
Victoria Volk: When I look back to after I had my third child, and I was nursing her probably at eighteen until eighteen months. I was a photographer at the time, and I had to go to Montana. It was quite a drive to get there, and I had to quit nursing her cold turkey. When she was eighteen months to get to go photograph this wedding. And that I look back now at that time and that was probably one of the smallest I had ever been as an adult.
Victoria Volk: And I’ve had to let go of the fact that that is not what I will be like ever again, most likely. But the thing is, I wasn’t was a healthy, this is what I’ve learned too in my program is that you can be a hundred and forty pounds of softness or you can be a hundred and forty pounds of muscle. The body composition will be very different. And this is where we focus so much on the scale, and that is the wrong caliber of health. From what I’ve learned. And the least reliable resource that we have to gauge to gauge our health. So that’s just one aspect of how we get ourselves motivated in terms of like like physical. Right? If we have grief over our physical bodies.
Victoria Volk: But motivation is fleeting. Right? Like, how do you stay motivated to keep going at something? Whether it’s bettering your physical self or your mental health or your emotional or relational aspects of your life. How do you keep motivated? Is motivated, is quick, it’s fleeting, it comes and goes. You can’t rely on it. It it’s exciting at the moment, and it lives in emotion. Whereas determination, when I think of determination, I think of grit, I think of power. I think of being a fighter. I think of not giving up, resilience, we can be motivated or we can be determined. And determination to me is when you have your mind set on something.
Victoria Volk: And often for me, what I have had to do is put myself in the way of suffering. I say suffering, but I mean really discomfort. And challenge to prove to myself that I could do what it is that I thought I couldn’t do. For example, I was 20 years old when I enlisted in the military. I was one of the oldest people at my basic training, boot camp. Most people are, like, eighteen when they seventeen, eighteen when they go to basic. So I wasn’t that much older, but I was not. I was not an athlete growing up. I had two left feet I did not have the strength to do I barely squeaked out one push-up. And that’s what you had to do in order to be accepted at the military processing, what they call it, maps.
Victoria Volk: And so I squeaked out my one push-up. And by the end of basic training, which was around eight weeks, I did my training at Fort Leonardwood, Missouri. Same place. My dad had actually been for his army training. And I did the most push-ups of all the females by the end of my basic training. Seventy-two in two minutes. Will I hit that again? I don’t know. It is possible. I think with this fitness and nutrition program I’m now doing, but I didn’t think it was ever possible for me. And so determination was what kept me going. Because there were plenty of other females and males, to be honest, that had to be recycled. Recycled meaning, they start from the beginning. And it could have been from an injury, but sometimes it was just because they could not pass the physical aspect. We did a two-mile road march with forty-pound rucksack. I think it was it might have been more than that. I can’t even remember what the rucksack weight was, but that was grueling, I remember, but I did it. I finished. But that was the greatest challenge for me physically that I have ever put myself in.
Victoria Volk: But I tell you what, it wasn’t motivation that was keeping me going. We need to regularly recognize our small wins and our strengths to keep us going and recognize what is going well and understand that there is no shame that no one has motivated all of the time. And what I really have come to know is that determination has a really strong why. Why are you doing what you were doing? Why do you want to happen? Why do you want this thing to happen happen. Right? Like, for me getting out of my slump of my grief, right? I had never really addressed it in my forty-plus years of life. And I was determined to figure out why I felt the way I felt. And I took action and that’s what we need to do. Determination leads us to taking action. If you are going to sit on your couch and wait to be motivated to get out of a slump, you’re you’re gonna wait for a very long time. With motivation, you’re just going through the motion.
Victoria Volk: So the first tip I would give is to not overwhelm yourself. When you feel overwhelmed in life, lighten up your goals and simplify. What’s one thing you can do today or daily to get out of the slump and add as you go day by day. You need to crawl before you walk. Right?
Victoria Volk: Second tip, lose the shame in the guilt. As we build our confidence, the shame and the guilt subside or lessen. And coming back to recognizing your wins and your strengths, think about what’s going well. These are ways that we lessen the shame and the guilt. Not everybody gets it right the first time. You’re gonna fall, you’re gonna fail, you’re gonna feel like you failed.
Victoria Volk: But there was a my son Russel, when he was an elementary school. And there was a wrestling team that had a quote on the back of their t-shirts and I’ve never forgotten it and I probably am not gonna say it exactly how it was on the shirt, but you don’t fail there’s no such thing as failure. There’s only learning. And that’s absolutely true in the sport of wrestling, but it’s true in the sport of life. Right? We’re gonna be learning constantly. There’s always something more to learn about ourselves about each other, about our grief, about our physical capabilities, about our resilience. There is so much to learn. Life is the gift that keeps on giving in that regard.
Victoria Volk: Three, share with a trusted loved one or a friend, seek support and a cheerleader. And maybe accountability if that’s what you need. I know for me personally, I need accountability because I have zero executing strengths. I am someone who okay, let me come up with the plan. Someone else executed. Right? Someone else, If there was if I were to ever build an app, it would be I would come up with the ideas. I would structure it out. Someone else would execute. I am the builder of things, of ideas. The builder of the ideas but someone else does be executing. And so I know for myself that accountability is huge for me. To keep myself in check and to recognize that probably more so of a cheerleader. Right? And I think, again, this comes back to being our bet being our own cheerleader. And how we do that is recognizing what is going well. What are we accomplishing? And I think when you look for that trust and a loved one or a friend, maybe they’ll have similar goals to you that you can hold each other accountable and be that support for one another. And if it’s an area of your life, where a friend or a family member is not the best person. Say, like, when it comes to grief, for example, maybe that’s where you bring someone like me into your life to help you support to support you through those things as you work through those losses and the traumas that happened in your past that are probably weighing you down today that are contributing to this slump that you’re in. And that was the thing if I’m really connecting some dots here because connectedness is in my top five, is a lot of my slumps we’re connected to grief in some respect in some way.
Victoria Volk: Tip #4. Be open to stepping outside of your comfort zone. Try something new. Don’t have this all or nothing idea or mindset that, well, I tried that so now this isn’t gonna work. I did that. That didn’t work. Well, she tried that and that didn’t work for her, so it’s surely not gonna work for me. We tell ourselves these stories even before we begin. You have to put yourself in the way of struggle and challenge sometimes in order to grow and that means getting out of your comfort zone. The moments I have done that in my life have been the most rewarding experiences of my life. Like I said, my military service, the basic training, deployment, becoming a parent, opening a business, writing a book, starting this podcast, so many things applying for a job that I never should have probably gotten, and I did. But I was open to learning something new. I was not coming in as a know it all. Like, I love to learn. And so I am always open to learning something new. My clients are always teaching me something new about myself too.
Victoria Volk: Tip five. Set time aside to self-reflect. I cannot stress this enough. That we are constantly going going going going going. How do we ever possibly recognize what’s going well? Celebrate our wins if we don’t pause long enough to acknowledge them. So at the end of the day, while you’re driving in the morning when the house is quiet, build it into your day as a habit. Anchoring it in another behavior. So like I said, as you’re driving, no music, no podcast, get out your voice recorder. There’s voice memo apps that you can put on your phone. You can take notes in the notes app. Capture some thoughts, and it doesn’t have to be long ten minutes, just capture some thoughts. Just self-reflect and capture those thoughts somehow on a posted note, in a voice memo, in your journal, in your planner something. Because if we can look back, there is I tell you this. Like, so I use the passion planner. I absolutely love the passion planner. I will put a link to it in the show notes where you get a discount by using my link. But looking back at my wins and things that went well each week. When you do that at the end of the month, it’s like, wow. A lot of things really did go well because we so easily focus on the negative. We so easily focus on what went wrong. It takes, like, five seconds of someone just saying the wrong thing and it spoils your entire day. It’s like that one rot that one moldy cherry tomato or the moldy cherry in the bowl? Or the rotten apple, it just spoils the whole bunch. Right? So we have some say over that. And how we can nip that in the bud is by pausing long enough to celebrate our wins and look at what went right and what’s going well. So maybe you get get a cup of tea and you self-reflect. You drive and you self-reflect. You take a walk, you self-reflect. These can become moments in our day that become a habit.
Victoria Volk: The sixth tip is clear your space declutter, throw, save, donate. I have a rule for myself that whenever I’m buying anything new, like new clothes for example, stuff that I haven’t, if I have not touched it in six months or a year or more, it goes. I need to get rid of it. In fact, I’m due for a purge in my closet as we speak, and I do intend to do that. But decluttering, there’s something about our space. When we feel overwhelmed in our life, and we leave the house in the morning and we go about our day and we go to work and we do all these things and we pick up the kids and go grocery shopping. And then we come home and we’re in a space of clutter That is not relaxing. How do you relax? You can’t. And if life itself, if all the rat race of life and your schedule is overwhelming, maybe you had a look at your schedule, But if that aspect of your life is really full, and you don’t know where to start and that part of your life, the things that you do for others and being the CEO of the family, if that’s you, then start with your space. That’s what you can start with. And I’m telling you, when you come home, and you’re able to actually relax. That will translate into your day. Trust me. Life is hard at times, but we often are our own worst enemies. Only making life feel harder. How about we get back to the basics? Slow down our minds, re-evaluate our schedules, and take a hard look at our priorities, which if your life isn’t aligning with your values, you are making your life harder for yourself than it needs to be.
Victoria Volk: Did you like this episode? Six tips for getting out of a slump, If you found it helpful and you liked it, please share it, leave a review. It takes five seconds, and it helps the show reach more hurting hearts. And keeps my determination going and helping humanity talk about grief like we talk about the weather. Until next time. When you unleash your heart, you unleash your life. Much love.