Love Over Fear – Always
So far, my turning 40 birthday month has been amazing and filled with many firsts.
The biggest first is taking a solo flying trip. I got back earlier this week from Austin, TX, where I spent 6 days for a grief recovery certification training of the grief recovery method. I’d love to share a bit about my trip – the highs, the lows (and there were big ones), and everything in between.
First, going from snow and cold temps to – what I thought would be 70’s (with rain expected some days), was the first joy of my trip. Austin, however, pleasantly surprised me with even warmer temps than expected and apparently, unusually sunny, Goldilocks-type days.
My first day there, I met up with a gal that I’ve known since around 2010 or so from a senior photographer FB group. It was sooooo fun meeting her and actually connecting in real life.
The following day, I met a gal who I’ve followed for quite some time and who I consider a mentor – Phoebe Mroczek. I’ve listened to her podcast, The Unbecoming (which I highly recommend, by the way) for the past year, and she is as down-to-earth in person as she is online. We shared goals and aspirations and it was great to connect in real life. Because let’s face it, ND isn’t exactly the epi-center for entrepreneurs. There’s a snowball’s chance in hell of any entrepreneurial event happening that would draw in people from around the country in my neck of the woods! LOL! If that’s the case for you, too – never be afraid to reach out to your online people, when traveling, to meet up! I’m so glad I did!
I enjoyed a wonderful stroll down the river, where I came upon a little stand where they were giving away free pints of ice cream! You’ll see it’s made with cashew milk and I gotta say, despite not loving pecans, this ice cream was sooooooo good! Highly recommend! I was told you can find it at Target and, I think, Wal-Mart as well. Worth checking out, for sure!
To my delight (and truly, I was happy like a child), I made an unexpected friend while on a tour of Austin, where we visited the cemetery where some well-known people are buried – including veteran Chris Kyle. My new friend is originally from Burma (borders Thailand) and living in Kona, HI. She was in Austin for training different from mine but somewhat in the same arena, so we had a topic of interest off the bat. After the tour, she asked me to join her to eat and we ended up talking for over five hours. She shared about Buddhism and about her homeland, as well as her life in HI. We’ve connected since that meeting again and I know I have gained a life-long friend.
The first 2 days of my trip, reminded me of all the great blessings God brings me in the most unexpected ways. But, I was open to receiving, too. And maybe that’s the lesson the first two days taught me: keep your heart open. Love over fear – always.
The next four days of the trip would be some of the most challenging four days of my life. Despite this being a certification training, a part of the training is to experience the process yourself that you will take others through. The method is to complete a loss-relationship in two of the four days. What made this experience even more intense is that the morning of the first day of training, I was awfully sick (puking, nausea, and you know what). I spent the entire day lying on the floor just so I could be present. Fortunately, I had the read the book prior, so hearing it in person, reinforced what I had read.
To begin with, Austin wasn’t the plan either, as I had originally registered for a training a 5-hour drive from me, however, that ended up being canceled. The next nearest training wasn’t until October. Austin just happened to be at the same time and I already had the time off. And, honestly – I just felt in my gut it had to be now and not later.
The Grief Recovery Method, once learned, is a method of healing you can utilize the rest of your life with loss of any kind that feels significant and with relationships of those both deceased and living.
I am beyond excited to be able to bring such a service to my community and surrounding communities. To start, I can only do in-person Grief Recovery work, however, it is a goal of mine to complete additional training down the road, that will enable me to conduct online Grief Recovery (i.e. bring healing) to anyone anywhere!
In the weeks ahead, I will share more about this wonderful program. I can say, with my whole heart, this can be transformational (i.e. life changing). And, I only say can be because you truly do get out of it what you’re willing to put into it. You have to allow yourself to feel all the hard feelings and be completely honest with yourself because that’s where the healing is.
This program is generally 8 weeks, however, as I mentioned in training, you do the intense work in two days – so it is a very intense experience. There is an advanced training I can take down the road that would allow me to also conduct the 2-day process in a weekend workshop, too. But to start, in the 8-week program, it’s broken down into weekly chunks of information.
My Personal Grief Recovery Method Experience
In my experience, having gone through it, I would say that it’s not that I’ll never feel sad again or grieve what I’ve lost, however, I don’t have this immense attachment to the grief itself anymore. It’s as if we hold on to what is familiar, but I no longer feel weighed down by it. The perfect analogy for me is this: before, I felt like I was treading water in a sea of grief. It was an exhausting vicious cycle, knowing that my life decisions were being dictated by this over-arching feeling of loss. And now, I feel like I’m swimming again. The grief is still there but it’s me moving with the current, not being bogged down by it. Does that make sense? I want others to experience this transformation, too. I felt called to this program the moment I found it – I knew it was it. I could cry in gratitude for this experience. It’s a freedom I’ve never felt. And, I can say never because I’ve been carrying these rocks since I was 8. Moreover, you learn tools on how to be a better listener, how to better communicate, and knowledge of how to complete other/future losses that you will have forever. No one can ever take this experience or knowledge from you.
This program had me feeling like I dropped a backpack of rocks that I’ve been adding to all my life. I feel lighter today than I did before this program and am so grateful I listened to my heart and gut.
If you are in my area and desire healing, stay tuned. If you’re not in my area, I encourage you to seek out a Grief Recovery Specialist in your area via the Institute website. There are programs geared specifically for loss of a pet, one in the works specifically for loss of relationship/divorce, and also one for parents to help children grieve (love this one – it’s prevention at the heart of it). I have plans on offering these, too, as well as providing talks to businesses/organizations that feel their business/organization could benefit. We all could benefit from listening skills, right?
Grief – Impacting Our Economy & Other Areas of Life
Also, there is statistical data on the financial and productivity impact grief has on businesses and organizations and I will be sharing more info on that to come as well. It’s the one thing that unites us all – no one is immune and we all have it and we bring it to our careers, families, and all relationships. And, although you may feel as though you’ve dealt with it, I encourage you to dig deep and ask yourself if failed relationships, bankruptcy, broken family relationships, lack of or loss of friendships, may not be due to any relationship you’ve had that you wished would have been better, different, or more. I guarantee there’s something there you’ve likely buried and locked away. I did and The Grief Recovery Method was my key.
If you’ve made it this far – bless your heart. xx Stay tuned to future blog posts where I will share a bit more of the ins & outs of the program and other healing tidbits. In the meantime, I encourage you to sign up for my weekly newsletter, as upcoming talks and future group info will be shared there first with those most expressing interest in knowing more.
Yours in grief and for choosing love over fear – always. <3
P.S. Are you in my area and interested in being a part of my first pilot, 8-week group pilot program? I’m looking for up to 6 people who are wanting to heal a loss-relationship that they wish could be/could have been better, different, or more and heal that relationship once and for all, but are also willing to commit to their healing for 8 weeks – once weekly for approximately two hours each time. This is not a drop-in-and-out program. Commitment is required – it is the only way you can heal and also be reliable support to others in the group. Sound like you? Reply to this email and let’s chat.
P.P.S.There is also an opportunity for one person to work with me in-person 1:1. Although I highly encourage the group dynamic (for various reasons), sometimes, a 1:1 is more fitting. Get in touch and we can discuss if you think you’d prefer in-person 1:1.
P.P.P.S. It is also worth noting that those that take advantage of the pilot programs, will benefit from a greatly reduced investment. There is nothing you need and all materials are provided. Why not do this for free? I wish I could, however, aside from my cost and time, it’s likely you wouldn’t do the work without an investment of some kind. There is something about investing in yourself that flips a switch in your mind that you value something more if you invest in it. I know this to be true of myself, too. But I also know, when everything else I’ve tried in my life, including trying to work through it on my own and therapy – nothing worked until this. True story. This program is the act of choosing love for yourself.