Ep 225 Holiday Grief Series: Why We Need To Look At the Past

 

SHOW NOTES SUMMARY:

In this final episode of the Holiday Grief Series, I explore the power of reflecting on our past, especially when dealing with grief during the holiday season. It’s about facing those tough memories head-on, much like a buffalo charges through a storm to find peace faster. By confronting these feelings directly, we gain insight into ourselves and can make better choices for our future.

Reflecting on history isn’t just personal; it applies to society, too. Understanding past events helps us break negative cycles and create positive change. As we look back at 2024 and beyond, self-awareness becomes key in shaping who we want to be.

I share my own journey of growth—much like committing to fitness—and how it’s similar to emotional healing. It takes dedication but leads to powerful inner transformation.

The main takeaway? Embrace your past so you can rewrite your story going forward into 2025. Let go of perfectionism; focus instead on progress over time. Remember that you’re unlocking your life’s potential by opening your heart.

I’m here for anyone ready to embark on this transformative path and encourage you all to spread this message of hope and empowerment to others who might need it, too!

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Embracing the Past for a Brighter Future

The holiday season often brings with it a mixed bag of emotions. For many, it’s a time of joy and celebration, but for others, it can be a poignant reminder of loss or emotional pain. In this fourth episode of our holiday grief series, we delve into the transformative power that lies in reflecting on the past—particularly during such emotionally charged times.

Facing the Storm Head-On

Imagine being like a buffalo facing an approaching storm. Instead of running away from it, you charge straight through to emerge quicker on the other side. This metaphor perfectly encapsulates how confronting painful memories head-on can lead to personal growth and healing. By directly addressing these experiences, individuals gain deeper insight into their motivations and actions.

This process is not just about reliving old wounds; rather, it’s about understanding them so that they no longer hold sway over your present or future decisions. The journey through one’s past allows for closure by resolving lingering emotions and ultimately leads to living a more peaceful life.

Learning from History

The importance of reflection extends beyond personal experiences—it applies to historical contexts as well. Societal progress hinges on understanding past events to avoid repeating mistakes while creating positive change moving forward.

As we approach 2024’s end-of-year reflections (and look ahead towards 2025), consider what lessons history has taught us both individually and collectively—and how those insights might inform better choices going forward!

Commitment & Growth

Personal development requires dedication akin physical training regimes: persistent effort yields substantial inner gains over time! Our speaker shares parallels between their fitness journey alongside broader endeavors involving emotional/spiritual growth—emphasizing commitment necessary achieving meaningful transformation within oneself too!

Upcoming collaborations include figures like Amanda Popovski via Instagram platforms plus newly launched energy healing membership opportunities available now! Letting go perfectionism embraces iterative improvement processes vital venturing new projects successfully together alike!

Ultimately though message remains clear throughout entire discussion here today: looking back helps identify behaviors shaped previous experiences empowering rewriting personal stories anew again tomorrow instead…

In closing remarks offered gratitude shared reminder embracing heart leads unleashing life fullest potential possible always remember sharing messages benefit others who may need hear same truths themselves someday soon perhaps?

Episode Transcription:

Victoria Volk: This is Victoria of the unleash tarte dot com, and you’re listening to grieving voices. A podcast for hurting hearts who desire to be heard, or anyone who wants to learn how to better support loved ones experiencing loss. As a thirty plus year grieber, an advanced grief recovery method specialist, I know how badly the conversation around grief needs to change. Through this podcast, I aim to educate Grivers and non Grivers alike, spread hope, and inspire compassion toward those hurting. Lastly, by providing my heart with ears and this platform, griefers have the opportunity to share their wisdom and stories of loss and resiliency. How about we talk about grief like we talk about the weather? Let’s get started. This episode is sponsored by Do Grieve differently, my twelve week in person or online program that helps grieving who have suffered any type of loss to feel better. In do grief differently, you learn new tools, education, and a method you can utilize the rest of your life. In this program and with my guidance, you remove the pain of grief. The sadness will always be there because even in complicated relationships we love, but it’s the pain of grief that keeps us stuck. Are you ready to do grief differently? Check out my website w w w dot the unleashtart dot com to learn more. Hey. Hey. Hey. Thank you for joining me today. This is the fourth episode of my holiday grief series, and I’m gonna talk about why we need to look at our past. It is a theme that has been coming up in conversations lately. Different guesting opportunities I’ve had. I’ve in December, I’ve been in full on creation mode and just having a lot of conversations too. And this has really just come up a lot. And so I figured it was a good topic for me to add and kind of the end cap of the holiday grief series. Because if we really think about our experiences and let’s say you’re grieving right now, you’re listening to this and you are not looking forward to the holidays coming up and you’re thinking about the past and it’s painful. And you do what you can to stuff it down and bury it and just push through and just you just wanna get through the holidays. Like, that’s your goal. It’s just to get through. And yet, the holidays will come and go. And the festivities will be over, and you will be sitting with yourself. And the past might come up again. In fact, it probably will come up again. Those old emotions the feelings, the pain, the reminders, they’ll be back. They always do come back like waves in the ocean. Grief ebbs and flows and hits us when we least expect it. But there’s something that happens when we look at the past and we address it and we act as a buffalo. It’s one of the things that came up in a podcast episode recently with my guest, Chris Cochrane, actually. He had never heard of the I used the Buffalo as an example. And he did not know that the Buffalo will go right head on through a storm. And they do because they realize and know, innately, that it’s the shortest path. There’s a lot of resistance that happens when we try to take the long way around, and it doesn’t do us any favors. We find that All the behaviors that we do to feel better don’t help us to feel better for the long term, and we have a lot of resistance to really looking at the past. Look in the at the past can be a valuable and transformative experience for several reasons. By examining our personal history, we gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and the present circumstances we find ourselves in. It allows us to uncover the blueprints that shaped our lives, revealing the original intentions and motivations behind our actions. We connect the dots, when we have that self reflection. So when we take the time to reflect on the past, we can learn important lessons from our experiences. We can identify patterns, understand the causes and effects of our choices, and make more informed decisions moving forward. This self reflection helps us grow and develop, and as we become more aware of our strengths, hind our weaknesses, and areas for improvement, our lives improve. And exploring the past can provide us with a sense of closure and healing. By acknowledging and addressing any unresolved emotions or incomplete communications, we can release the pain and find ourselves in forgiveness both for ourselves and others. This process allows us to let go of the burdens that have been weighing us down, freeing us to move forward with a renewed sense of peace and purpose. And when I say purpose, it doesn’t have to be something big. We always think that we have to do these grand things with our our pain. You know, it’s that old hero’s journey that from pain to purpose, from tears to triumph, and it’s true, that can happen. And it does, if we look at the past, it can, if we look at the past. I I would say it does if we look at the past. I’ve talked to enough grievers over four plus years to know that to be true. I’ve experienced it myself. The timeline is different for every single human being. It doesn’t have to take over thirty years like it did for me. The important work that we do is in the looking into the past. That is the work. People ask all the time, well, what’s you know, you gotta say you gotta do the work. Well, what’s the work? That’s the work. Look at it. Head on. Be the buffalo. In addition to personal growth, understanding the past can also be valuable on a broader scale. By studying history and societal trends, we can identify patterns and anticipate future possibilities. This knowledge empowers us to make informed decisions, solve problems creatively, and contribute positively to our communities in the world at large. It’s that old saying. History repeats itself. Right? Like, you would think that we would learn in a lot of ways as a society we haven’t, but there is gold there. There is gold in the past. And ultimately, examining the past is not about dwelling in nostalgia, being stuck in old ways. It’s about gaining insight and finding closure and using that knowledge to create a better future. That’s the work. And that’s what I want to encourage you to consider going into twenty twenty five. What has twenty twenty four shown you? What has twenty twenty four left you feeling at the end of it? How do you feel now? How was the year? On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate twenty twenty four? I would rate mine at a seven, maybe even an eight. And I’m gonna have an episode coming up here in a couple weeks. At the end of the month, I’ll share my reflections and takeaways from the year. So I’m not gonna go into that in in this episode. But this year was a year of laying foundations, getting out of my comfort zone, stretching myself, and Again, I I really think it was a laying a foundation. And I’m gonna be talking about that too on an Instagram live with Amanda Babotsky. She was a past guest on the podcast. And I I can’t say her name when I just say it like normal. I always have to, like, pabotsky. And then that comes out. Right? Anyway, Amanda and I are doing this Instagram live, and we’re gonna be talking about this very thing. Going into twenty twenty five. So I’ll put the link in the show notes. It’s when you you actually listen to the when this episode gets published, it’ll be the next day. So add it to your get a reminder for yourself add it to your schedule and come join us over lunch. It’ll be just a really quick, almost like a micro class or a micro what did you call it? Micro workshop. I’m not sure. Anyway, we’re gonna be jamming out talking about this sort of thing. And but the but the message I wanna leave you with today is the past is where it’s at, really. The past is where it’s at. The worst has already happened. If you’re listening to this and you’re grieving and you are feeling emotional pain and you feel like your life has just been one of suffering. Like, the worst has already happened. So what can you do today? Tomorrow By the end of this month, going into twenty twenty five, what can you do differently to change the trajectory of your coming year? What were you doing in twenty twenty four that wasn’t working? What wasn’t working? What steps can you take to shift that? Is it your perspective that needs to change? Is it your actions? One of the things I’m gonna be sharing on this Instagram live is is when we focus on the internal, the external follows. It’s like so many people are so quick to jump on board for New Year’s resolutions and start going to the gym and within three weeks they give up and it’s it’s a grind. I was thinking about that the other day in the gym. I’ve been at it for fifteen weeks going five days a week. For the most part, there have been weeks that’s been four. But for the most part, I’m lifting five days a week. And I’m seeing the gains now. Because I’m certain to do the workouts that I did week one and two and three and I’m hitting personal bests and I wouldn’t have seen that if I wouldn’t have stuck it out I wouldn’t be where I am. Had I not stuck it out? And so when people see me, they might think, oh, shoot. She’s in shape. She’s looking good. Maybe, I don’t know. Got some muscles on her. I do. I’ve I’ve built some muscles. And but what people don’t see is the grind. The day to day grind and commitment that I have had. That’s what it takes to see change. It takes commitment and it takes shifting your perspective that there’s no quick fix. There’s You gotta put in the work. You gotta put in sweat. Whether it’s emotional, mental, physical, spiritual, it’s a practice. Whatever area of your life you wanna tackle, it’s a practice. And what do they say? Practice makes perfect. When I’m not going for perfect, I have to let that shit go because there is no such such thing is perfect. And I had to let that go in order to launch my energy healing membership, which just launched actually, and I’ll put the link to that in the show notes. And what I found myself doing is finding reasons to not launch. I was dragging my feet. And I just had to commit. I just had to commit and decide and let the chips fall as they may. I am not gonna get to the place of perfect with it, and that’s okay. I will be tweaking and tweaking as I need. But for you, moving forward and why it’s important to look at the past is because that’s where the gold is. That’s where you can connect the dots for yourself. The behaviors that you’re doing today are greatly influenced by the past. By your experiences that you’ve had, whether it was three months, three years, or thirty years ago. Trust me. And when you start to have the self awareness, when you start doing the work and you have those connections, you start making those brain and body and emotional connections, like, oh, this is why I was doing this. It’s normal and it’s natural. You will find that the things that you’re doing today are normal and natural. You don’t have to be wrapped up in shame and guilt, which only perpetuates the behavior. That’s why it’s important to look at it. So that you can have the self awareness. So you gain new tools and new knowledge so you can change it, so that you can rewrite your story. That’s my message for you today. I hope you consider looking at the past after you’ve listened to this, listen to this again if you have to. And if you decide to Make twenty twenty five your year. I would be more than happy to be the one to initiate you into that transformation and hold your hand along the way. Alright, friends. Thank you so much for listening. I hope this was helpful and inspiring, if anything. And please share it with someone who may need this message today. Stay tuned for next week, it’s gonna be another actually, the next two episodes are gonna be I’m gonna have two more solo episodes. And and then January is all interviews. I have some great guests coming up and lined up already. I’m excited to share those. So yeah, thank you so much for being here. And remember, when you unleash your heart, you unleash your life, much love. From my heart to yours, thank you for listening. If you like this episode, please share it because sharing is caring. And until next time, give and share compassion by being heart with ears. And if you’re hurting, know that what you’re feeling is normal and natural. Much love my friend. Hey there, grieving Voice’s family. I love hearing from you, whether it’s a question, a story, or just sharing what you love about the show. Now, it’s easier than ever. You can send me a text message directly wherever you get your podcasts, Check out the show notes. At the top, you’ll see a message. Send Victoria a text message. Your thoughts and feedback mean the world to me. So don’t hesitate. Reach out today. Thanks for listening and for being a part of my community.

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