If you wait until you’re ready…
You will, forever, be waiting.
I self-published my book in September 2017. I had been talking about it for two years.
I talked about becoming certified in grief recovery. Within weeks I had registered.
I had talked about looking into reiki certification. Within weeks I registered.
My podcast, Grieving Voices, is launching this coming Tuesday, June 30th. I had been talking about this with some entrepreneur gal-pals for several months, and next week it finally happens!
There are many examples in-between 2017 and today of the negative self-talk going on in my head of things I want/wanted to do but never got around to – countless. I have filed so many ideas in the back of my mental file cabinet over the years.
However, when it has come to things I have been so sure about; those things I feel, in my bones, I am being pulled to do, my hesitation time has greatly decreased.
Nowadays, if I feel a pull at my heart, and I recognize it as an inner-knowing, I won’t hesitate to pull the trigger.
My intuition has not steered me wrong in this way – yet.
There are other goals/desires that have been stewing in my heart, too. And, I find myself pushing pause. Perhaps it’s just not the right timing. Perhaps, there is a better, more fitting offering that will come along? I don’t know, but for now – I wait. I’m leaning but I’m not feeling that pull, and I haven’t yet identified why.
You may be thinking: “What the heck?” I know I said that if you wait until you’re ready, you’ll be waiting forever. And, so why am I saying then, that there are goals/desires I’m being passive about? The difference between the things I acted upon and the things I haven’t is based solely on my intuition.
Is it your intuition talking or is it excuses that keep you from pulling the trigger on that thing you desire?
And, how do you know the difference?
Simple. What is the conversation going on in your head around it? If it is intuition leading the way, we will seek out and draw in education/support/guidance to make the thing we feel pulled to do – happen.
The podcast idea took me several months to execute because I struggled with all the things related to podcasting. It takes time and effort to create content on yet another platform. And, not to mention there’s a learning curve, which also takes time. However, my intuition was telling me: “Victoria, put your message where your mouth is!” If I truly meant that I wanted to reach a wider audience to share my message about the importance of grief education (like I was to everyone and myself) than I best do something about it. I needed to jump in before I was ready. Because I was never going to “be ready.” There always would’ve been another reason (i.e., excuse) to wait until I was ready.
Before I wrote my book, I was full of excuses (in my head). I didn’t know the path and, was getting wrapped around the axel surrounding the logistics, how-to’s, and what-not; not knowing that was keeping me stuck. Sometimes, we just need a guide or a coach to pave the way for us. Sometimes, we need to lean on someone else who’s a few steps ahead to shed light on the next steps forward. And sometimes, by George, we just need to jump headfirst and allow ourselves to become educated along the way – missteps, failures (i.e., learnings), hiccups and all.
There’s a caveat to all of this, however. We may lean on procrastination tactics while believing we are executing on our intuition, too. If we’re using education/support/guidance as a form of procrastination than we’re excusing ourselves from taking the leap. See the difference? I was notorious for doing this when I started my photography business. I jumped in head first, but there were leaps I avoided taking for years because I felt like there was always more for me to know. I know, today, that doing this stunted my potential right out of the gate. I was more invested in staying comfortable with what I knew at the time. I felt like I was a fearless person because hey, after all, I took the leap to be an entrepreneur. However, I was an entrepreneur that was comfortable with not playing a bigger game.
So, when it comes to working through the emotional “stuck-ness,” are you filled with resistance and hesitation? I get how fear of the unknown can derail even our best of intentions. However, this is what fear is: False Evidence Appearing Real. Our perception is given a lot of power in our decision-making. If you can be an observer of those fear-filled thoughts, acknowledge they’re just that – thoughts, you can choose to take, even the smallest action, toward the next best feeling, which could be the feeling of frustration. Do you see how frustration can move us into action? When I get so annoyed no one else is cleaning out the fridge, eventually, I get so frustrated I just do it. We can apply this idea of reaching for the next best feeling to every area of our lives.
I challenge you to dig deep into why you’re not doing certain things you feel pulled to do and then, pay attention to the monkey chatter going on in your mind as you go about your day. Keep asking yourself “why” until you get to the root of the stalling/inaction.
If you’re on the fence about grief recovery, I’d ask you: “what’s stopping you?” If the answer is financial, I encourage you to reach out. I never want money to not be a reason you don’t help yourself. Of course, I can’t do this work for free, but I am willing to work with someone who is willing to do the deep, heart work in their lives. Uncomfortable with technology and completing the program online? Again, reach out to me. I can explain how it all works and what to expect. Concerned about the time it will take? I know, as a mom, employee, and business owner, I am pulled in many directions every single day. However, what if I told you that last week alone, my phone time use was over 5 HOURS! FIVE HOURS!!! I would bet, if you added up your phone, tv, mobile time – you’d be pretty close to that, too (maybe even more). And, I don’t even watch much television! I think most of us have no clue how much time we truly waste in a day with our faces buried in screens. And, we wonder why our youth are married to their phones! Ha! We, adults, are just as guilty!
Do you see how easily we come up with excuses rather than legit, not-in-our-control reasons?
Sifting through the reasons from the excuses can be a painful pill to swallow. However, only a refreshing glass of awareness can help you choke it down. What awareness are you avoiding to recognize? What desire, placed within your heart, are you waiting to do something about until you feel ready?
More importantly – why?
P.S. The presentation I gave earlier this week is available. See the form below and please, share this with a griever that you know or love.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yxhXU4UfWxPk-zD8_-myyXEUKv1Yr2AO/view