I had an entirely different blog post previously ready for today. However, given the circumstances with Covid-19 (a.k.a. [dumb] Corona Virus), I felt this post was a priority.
Fear is a valid emotion. And, it is one that just so happens to, at times, keep us alive. Fear is what makes us run when we’re being chased, protect ourselves when our safety is in danger, and act when fear wells up in us in an emergency.
However, what happens when fear is an emotional response rather than one that’s a matter of safety? What is the difference?
When I think about how my body responds to fear of doing something new (like publishing my book) or to danger, there is a difference. When faced with a decision that makes me feel fearful, I tend to feel it as anxiety. I will have nervous energy, lack of focus, and an inability to act in a way that creates momentum (i.e., I tend to procrastinate). However, when I’ve been faced with a situation that made me feel like I was in danger (for example, realizing I was being followed as I walked the streets of Austin, TX), that fear was different than the fear felt from doing something new/scary. This fear had me evaluating my surroundings, thinking through scenarios, and looking for someone to help me feel safe.
I’ve been pondering fear for the past few days. What do you think? Do you agree that fear, from an emotional state, provokes a different response than that fear that originates from danger? Do you think the body’s response is similar or different?
Regardless, fear is a valid feeling; it serves a purpose for humanity. It is one thing that we have in common with the animal world, too. In regards to Covid-19, the response has been more of an emotional one for me. I have not found myself feeling fearful for my health or that of my spouse or children. However, I have found myself feeling concerned for my mom, in-laws, and others in my community.
We’re seeing both of these fear responses now. Some individuals can’t see loved ones who are quarantined (with or without symptoms) who may have other life-threatening conditions already. So, imagine the fear of losing a loved one who you can’t see, hug, or touch, all the while knowing there’s a possibility they may pass away? Do you think they are experiencing grief?
Or, how about the woman who has an immunocompromised child? Knowing her child has been close to death before with common, known illnesses, and there’s now this unknown viral infection that’s already taking lives? Do you think you would be a fearful mother, too? Do you think you would maybe react out of fear, also, when non-worried folks are downplaying what is unknown to all of us?
And, I think that’s where the fear is originating. This thing arrived in our backyards unknown. It’s wreaking havoc on our way of life, finances, our emotions, how we live and work, and how we interact with others. For example, a family member works in Target, and somehow it’s their fault that the shelves are empty of toilet paper. This “TP-Gate” still doesn’t make much sense to me as diarrhea is not one of the common symptoms, and the majority of our toilet paper in the states comes from within the U.S. Also, can you imagine being a mother of a baby and not being able to find wipes? I also cannot imagine working in a nursing home these days and running out of toilet paper. I have worked as a certified nursing assistant and seriously, bless the hearts of those who work in the medical field now. They risk their health for a paycheck, perhaps, even their own life if they have underlying conditions.
So, how about we start looking at this thing differently. I imagine it’s going to be sticking around for a while. Emotions are already running high, stress/issues with finances, health, parenting, and then some looms over all of our heads. So, how about we at least try to lead with love? Before striking back out of emotional fear, stop, and think. There are already copious amounts of grief in our society. This situation is bound to only add to it for many. Think beyond your immediate bubble for a moment. Zoom out to the bigger picture, and all of the possible scenarios already playing out in other people’s lives. Because, when we only think from our bubbles, we’re missing the opportunity to lead with love. Instead, extend some grace to the stressed employee at Target. Offer support to the single mother who has no choice but to be home with her kids, sick or not because schools are closed, and without a paycheck. Be a listening ear for the man who can’t see his quarantined, dying mother who is on hospice.
We all carry grief in some form and Covid-19 is definitely creating more of that. My daughter is quite sad (and angry) that her first year of playing volleyball has come to an abrupt end. Those in quarantine, who are already potentially isolating grievers, may experience an even more significant impact on their mental health. And, those who can’t say goodbye to a dying loved one, in person, will undoubtedly experience grief beyond measure. Children will miss their classmates and learning environment. Teachers, coaches, athletes, actors/actresses, and then some, won’t be able to participate and share their passion with others. These experiences, too, will cause grief.
On a personal note, The Grief Recovery Institute has put out the recommendation not to conduct support groups or one-on-one programs until further notice. For those who rely on this profession full-time, or in any profession that is reliant on in-person work, they’re bound to feel the sting to their finances, as well as the sadness that accompanies the fact that they’re not able to help/serve others.
This virus is far-reaching than the illness itself and, I think this week, that fact settled into the forefront of our minds. I think we would all agree, too, that this thing can’t be in our rearview soon enough.
In the meantime, let’s set the intention at the start of our day to let love lead the way. Send out, energetically, healing, and love to your loved ones, community, state, country, and world. Let’s step up our self-care and make our personal mental health a priority. Limiting news exposure, purposefully not tuning in, or logging on; only checking credible sources long enough to stay informed, would greatly contribute to our mental health as well.
I am sending you and yours, my love. I pray this thing leaves us sooner rather than later and quickly becomes a bad memory (from which we all learn something).
To love leading the way…
P.S. In case you didn’t know, Reiki boosts immunity! If you would like to learn more, click HERE.