Takeaways & Reflections | Leaning Into Trust While Having a Broken Heart
SHOW NOTES SUMMARY:
When you’re pulled between the feelings of what you wish would be different, better, or more, and faced with a moment where a decision has to be made, it can be challenging to cut through all of the emotion and lean into trust.
In this week’s Takeaways & Reflections episode, I use Kasey and Michelle’s stories to illustrate the challenges we can have with trust, not only in our own inner guidance but also that there potentially is something better waiting for us on the other side of leaning into trust.
Could you use a little more trust, and maybe surrendering, in your life? I hope you go back and listen to Kasey and Michelle’s inspiring stories of trusting themselves; what they know to be right and true in the present moment, because that’s all we’re all really guaranteed, anyway.
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Grieving Voices Second Anniversary & Milestone Celebration 10,000 Downloads
Thank you for tuning in to grieving voices. You may have noticed that there were two episodes rather than the one followed by a takeaways and reflections episode. Before I get into this week’s episode, however, I want to share why that is. I’m excited to share that I’ve reached two milestones with grieving voices. First, I reached 10,000 downloads. And there may be people listening who are familiar with the analytics of podcasts, so this may not sound very awesome considering there are many podcasts that reached 10,000 downloads within the first six months of their podcast existence. However, some factors influence the downloads, including the host’s audience size before the podcast was started, marketing tactics, and of course, the topic had a slow and steady organic growth of grieving voices. And I secretly hoped to hit 10,000. Before the podcast’s second anniversary, grieving voices celebrated two years of consistent weekly content to initiate a different kind of conversation about grief, where society begins to talk about grief. Like we talk about the weather. Reaching these milestones is the reason for shifting the episodes.
And I wanted to have the second-anniversary episode, and the last one of season two be a takeaways and reflections episode. So here we are. Thank you to you, the listener for sticking with me the past two years, or for sticking around if you’ve only recently discovered this podcast. I appreciate every share podcast review or comment that hits my inbox sharing how the podcast has helped or that the guest story resonated. From day one, this podcast has been a labor of love. I do hope and plan to monetize this fourth child of mine because it really is a fourth child. Because anyone who podcast knows that it’s not only an investment of time and resources but also money. I believe this is why so many podcasts don’t make it much beyond the one-year mark. Next week, season three will begin with an episode where my guest Elizabeth shares her experience of delivering a child stillborn and eight months later becoming a military spouse widow. If you don’t want to miss that episode, and more incredible stories of grief and triumph coming ahead, subscribe to get notified of new episodes every Tuesday morning.
A Tear-Jerker Episode with Kasey Carmona
Now, on to this week’s episode, Episode 104 with Kasey Carmona was a tear-jerker. I was crying while hearing her story and cried again while editing. I don’t heavily edit my episodes, it’s always a priority that the guest story is honored in its entirety. And Kasey shared deeply touched me. I am a mother of three teenagers. And any mother can tell you that you just hope and pray that you see your children to adulthood and that they outlive you too. There is no word for a parent who loses a child. With spouse loss you’re called a widow or widower it’s just not natural to bury a child. And the other thing that doesn’t follow an order is grief. Grief isn’t linear. Elisabeth Kubler Ross’s son Ken Ross and I discussed his mother’s work regarding the five stages of grief and an episode I’ll link to in the show notes.
Ripples of Losses with Michelle’s Episode
But as my friend Michelle shared in last week’s episode that COVID was the domino that fell that led to ripples of other losses. Her grandfather died during COVID And at that time, Australia was under strict restrictions, regardless of the fact that they had zero cases. Due to these restrictions, the way her family could grieve was deeply impacted. They couldn’t come together for a ceremony and celebration of life or at the burial. her grandfather’s death aside the dream Michelle had been diligently working toward was great getting derailed restrictions and all of the unknowns that Michelle and the rest of the world were forced to confront, had many having to choose to pivot give up or give in. And for many people, COVID is still causing this in so many people’s lives. We never know the moment when something doesn’t work out that something better is around the corner. We’ve all had to build our patient’s muscles throughout COVID. And Casey two had to learn patience. Furthermore, she had to learn how to trust not only those in charge of her beautiful precious son’s care but also trust in her instincts and intuition as his mother.
How many of you listening to this right now can put yourself in the shoes of Kasey or Michelle had to reconcile in her heart, what she knows the best for her son, and fight with what she wished would have been different, better, or more. She and her husband chose to take their son home, knowing they were taking him home to die, only to find that that is when he lived and they loved as a family altogether. In his final days of life, Michelle had to surrender to what she could not change and accept what she wished was different, better, or more. That was beyond her control. She only had control over how she responded to the circumstances. Michelle followed the inspired idea to make the most of the situation and show up anyway, for her grandfather. The safest way she knew how. And to her surprise, other family members follow their heart’s lead and showed up when she felt her dreams and goals were squashed. She embraced the time with her children and her husband, she pivoted using the time to devote to learning and giving back to her community. And deepening her understanding of all that she had been learning before COVID Hit COVID revealed a truth she and anyone couldn’t ignore we lose.
Trust & Control
Whenever we try to control everything. We create unnecessary suffering for ourselves and waste precious time and energy. We spin our wheels and we get nowhere. If we devoted our energy to trust rather than control, imagine how much more peace we would experience in our bodies. Say each word out loud. Trust, control. Even the word TRUST feels more comforting. There’s an ease and flow to it. We may even think of the word control, as in a control group in a scientific experiment where the group is separated from the rest. So the independent variable being tested cannot influence the results. However, we all know that when we attempt to control situations circumstances were others. The actions we take in an attempt to control always influence the environment and people around us. We are seemingly the mice within our own control experiments. And we fail the test miserably.
As you progress through your week, think about what aspects of your life you are attempting to control. I certainly have my moments where I struggle with trying to control situations, circumstances, or outcomes. However, I tend to struggle more with being in reaction mode. And that’s my clue. I’m not living with intention. There are three mantras I’ve been saying on my morning walks and feel free to steal these or tweak them. So they resonate for you. I am supported. I trust that everything happens for my highest good ease and flow are my way of being. I wish you days of leaning into trust packing away the fear and unknowns and leaning into the present moment with love. Love always trusts a reminder for you. And me too.
P.S I hope you tune in next week for Elizabeth’s episode and many more to come. Thank you to those who have been guests and we’ll be guests in the future. Thank you for celebrating my two-year anniversary and 10,000 downloads. I appreciate and love you so much.