Looking out the kitchen window, I could see the church from where I sat. I often pondered my faith through the years, as they passed, and the calendar flipped month to month.
When, in God’s name, will I stop feeling this way?
Today, I reflected on the many times I sat at my kitchen table working on myself. You may be wondering: “What does ‘working on one’s self’ look like?” Well, at the time, it had become somewhat an obsession. It was a weird hobby to find what made me tick, what made me behave and think the way I did at that time. And, what I learned about myself was pure gold awareness. However, the revolving thought I had then was how lucky I felt that I was able to sit at my kitchen table and dig deep into my inner-world.
The Only Way Out is Through
I received this beautiful reminder today of how incredibly fortunate I was to be able to dig deep back then. Financially, I was okay. I could sit at my kitchen table and create that time and mental space. Granted, I had been working late into the night and was up early with kids. And truth be told, we were not financially rolling in it either. But, I somehow knew that the only way out of the rut I was feeling I was drowning in – was to quit squirming (and resisting) my way deeper and instead, create the time, intention, and focus on working on myself. For me but also for those I love.
When we are feeling strangled financially, it’s hard to focus on anything else. There is always this undercurrent of desperation. I do speak from my varying degrees of financial hardship (which will differ for everyone), but I do remember that feeling. I remember it well – both as a child and well into adulthood. And, it’s those early financial and money experiences that shape and form our beliefs about money into adulthood, too.
Do you hate to talk about money today? Look at what your relationship to money was as a child. What was the conversation around money growing up? What were the phrases and things you heard? There’s a clue there. And because it’s super-easy to tie everything into grief ( it’s the root of a whole lot of issue we have), do you think that the money talk growing up caused grief experiences for your parent(s)? And, don’t you think that rippled into your life experience, too?
I digress. The point is, is that there will always be a reason we don’t create the time and space to work on ourselves. Always. What I believe it comes down to, though, is courage. It takes courage to create change in our lives. And, personal development and growth is a long game. It does not happen overnight and it does take personal commitment and work.
One question I’d like to leave you with today is this: “What is one thing you want to do, but you have not found the courage to take action toward in your life? Two minutes. That’s all it takes is two minutes of courage to get the ball rolling. Send the email, make the call, order the book/program/course, ASK the darn thing that’s been sitting on your heart for God knows how long…
Two minutes of courage. Do the damn thing, friend. You’ve got this. It’s all learning, anyway. And, it’s impossible to fail if you reframe it as learning.
P.S. If you need a nudge, here’s yours: I have two spots available for the One-on-One Online Grief Recovery Program Online in June. And, I offer something special for working with me – both in the form of a gift and a bonus. Have I piqued your interest? If you’ve been standing at the edge of the pool of life, afraid to dive into the deep end (i.e., your heart), I’ve got you – the whole way through. You need not be afraid. There is so much goodness on the other side; I promise you that. I encourage you to find the courage to give yourself a gift that will keep on giving. Email me at victoria [at] theunleashedheart [dot] com or send a message via the Contact tab.
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