How Intention Changes Everything

how intention changes everything

Intention isn’t something we often give, well…our attention. However, if we give it a little thought (and a little love), bizarre and synchronistic things can come about as a result.

This point was recently made apparent to me in a conversation I had with a friend. She wasn’t too thrilled about an upcoming situation, and I asked her how we could reframe her perspective. I told her rather than going into it thinking about where you’d rather be and all hum and drum and doom and gloom, think of the opportunity that is there to share your light. Just be you – because you never know who needs to hear what you have to share and what opportunities will come out of it. I told her to set the intention for what she desires before she even goes. And I was thrilled when she shared that it went even better than she imagined!

I had this happen to me many times over as well. You see, it’s easy to think of the worst-case scenario. It’s easy to project what we think will happen in the future. But, if there’s one thing that energy work has taught me is this: our thoughts have energy. And, when we set an intention of “it’s going to be horrible” before the word “go,” then guess what – we’ll probably get what we intended.

What if, instead, we took a few moments to put a different energy into a situation? What if, instead, we took a few minutes to envision how we prefer a situation to go and see it play out in our minds before we go into the situation? What if, instead, we set an intention for our entire day? What a concept, right?

Some may call this manifestation. I prefer to view it as intention, which makes me feel like I am playing an active role in creating a life I desire. Kind of the whole point of living, isn’t it? To bring our soul’s purpose, a life of fulfillment, and the best of who we are to everything we do and everyone we know?

Think about it. What energy have you brought into a situation before you went in and how accurate were you on the result? I bet you were pretty accurate – whether your mind went with doom and gloom or intended joy. I can think of so many situations in my own life where this has accurately played out. No matter which way I slice it, it comes back to the energy I was putting into the situation before it even played out.

This is the key to manifestation; feeling into the intention of what you desire.

Work on this one thing this coming week. If there’s an uncomfortable conversation, situation, or experience ahead that gives you some feelings of ick in your heart and mind, then do this one thing. Set aside some time every day, or replay your desired outcome in your mind as often as possible, leading up to the upcoming conversation/situation/experience, and let it go from your mind, all the while holding the energy of the experience you desire to have instead.

If you do this, please let me know how it goes! I love hearing these kinds of stories; they make me smile!

I’m reminded of this quote by Henry Ford:

Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right.

So too, whether you expect doom and gloom or joy, you’re right.

Food for thought this Friday.

much love, victoria

 

 

 

P.S. Sports have been put on hold for my kiddos for a time. Do you know what that means? More availability for Reiki sessions! Check out my schedule HERE for availability. I had a bunch of sessions snatched up this morning, and there are still TWO Saturday Slots open on Dec. 5th! 

The Most Important Conversation

the most important conversation

Do you like to play dodgeball? You know, the game where balls are thrown at you with the goal of getting you out of the game? And, you hope that you don’t end up with a bloody nose by the end of it?

Imagine your thoughts being the ball and your heart and physical body are on the receiving end. And, consider how many times during any given day you are the one throwing the insults in the direction of yourself.

The most important conversation we need to have when we do this is not in our heads. Rather, the most important conversation we need to have in moments like this is the one we have with ourselves and with our hearts.

We have more than 6,000 thoughts in a day, according to a study conducted by researchers at Queen’s University in Canada. Also, according to the study,

Anxious or racing thoughts, negative self-talk, worry, and overthinking are hallmarks for people who know the challenges of dealing with mental health diagnoses like anxiety and depression. These conditions affect a growing number of Americans.

  • Anxiety disorders affect 1% of people in the U.S., making it the most common mental illness.
  • According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, “anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events.”

I’ve been reading the book, Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It,” by Kamal Ravikant. In it, the author shares how he turned his life around by using a self-love practice, which he found by doing more of what made him feel better. At the core of this practice is telling himself every single day, throughout the day, that he loved himself. I’m not quite half-way through the book, but so far, my takeaway is that this book reinforces what I learned through grief recovery, and that is: We can’t heal the heart with the head. We certainly don’t heal the heart either by all the garbage we tell ourselves on a daily basis. All this does is reinforce the beliefs we have about ourselves, thereby, reinforcing the repeated patterns of behavior that keep us stuck in our lives.

So, I’ve been working on implementing my own “self-love” practice, and it does include principals taught in this book. Along with the other healing modalities I have learned along the way (grief recovery education and the practical tools it provides along with reiki), I feel like I am leaving 2020 more emotionally resilient than how I came into the year. Also, far more prepared for whatever 2021 may bring, too. I’m working on changing the conversations I have with myself.

The majority of us have spent years in self-loathing. The opposite of self-loathing is self-love. And, it’s a sport most of us need a lot of practice in, in order to see our hearts transformed. The timing of coming across this book is uncanny and very synchronistic. So, I’m fully embracing it and trusting that it’s a part of the process I’m ready to dig into for my own healing.

If you desire change in your life, it starts with the most important conversation you need to have – the one with yourself and your heart. When was the last time you asked your heart what it needs?

This year, I learned this from a mentor, and I keep a post-it with this written on it, above my desk, where I see it every single day.

I am where my attention is.

Who would I be…

What would I do…

and

How would I feel if I already had…

Where do you want your attention to be as we bring 2020 to a close?

Where do you want your attention to be in 2021?

Healing is my jam. To bring my best light and my best self to the work that I do, I need to work on clearing out my own gunk. Put another way, as Kamal Ravikant mentions in his book, I need to keep bringing out the rag and clean my windows.

Maybe you’re not looking to be a healer-type person. That doesn’t matter. Because I would bet that what you really want is to feel better and to live your best life. Am I right? 

Start within and listen to the guidance of your knowing heart.

much love, victoria

 

 

P.S. We start by asking ourselves better questions. If you’ve never listened to my podcast, Grieving Voices, the first 12 episodes are a great start! You’ll be doing all sorts of reflecting and asking yourself all kinds of questions as you listen. Take it one step further and grab a notebook and pen and put your thoughts on paper. We can turn our screams into whispers…trust me. (Side Note: “When Screams Turn Into Whispers” is a book title for someone I interviewed for the podcast recently – such a great episode on bipolar disorder that I can’t wait to share)

The Process of Unraveling

Piece by piece, the puzzle of ourselves starts to come together. For many, it doesn’t begin until mid-life. For the lucky, it happens much sooner. Although I don’t believe it’s luck—instead, several things like awareness, a desire, and synchronicities that unfold in perfect timing.

Personal growth and development have been a life-long mission of mine. It wasn’t until the last couple of years, where I’ve sought personal development as a means to function at a higher level in my life. Up until a couple of years ago, the driving force was to gain an understanding of what was wrong, needed fixing, or just written into the D.N.A. of who I am. In truth, I have been on a quest to know myself since I was a child when I had an interest in understanding and researched the lines on my palms (I have a single palmar crease on both hands if you’re wondering what had me so intrigued about my hands).

If you’re like me and are kind of like a personal development junkie, do you seek knowledge to fix, or do you seek knowledge to grow? The goal will definitely change the process. Why? Because, if also like me, you intended to fix what you believe to be wrong with you, then you’ll always be spinning your wheels. You’ll never arrive at this all-knowing place and meet a level of satisfaction with what you’ve learned. That is until you pursue knowledge to grow and follow it up with action.

In full transparency, and as I’ve previously mentioned, I’ve been hitting personal development hard since 2012 – about a year into having my first business. Entrepreneurship, it seems, brings a lot of ghosts out of the woodwork. I started to see the shadow-side of me coming out around 2014. And, that’s when the unraveling began.

And truthfully, it wasn’t until today that I connected some dots for myself in why I’ve struggled with consistent creation in my life (of what I want my life to look like). Coincidentally or not, I don’t know, but while pregnant with me, my mother drank. Back then, it wasn’t unusual, I guess (?), to put 2 oz. of beer in the bottle to get me to sleep. I am told, “it’s what we did back then.” Not surprisingly, I had to stay in the hospital after I was born for several days because I was jaundice. I also was apparently due on February 14th, and didn’t arrive until March 5th and still only weighed a little over 6 1/2 pounds. Again, obstetrics were not then what they are now. But, it helps to paint a picture that, before I was born, I was suffering. And that’s the dot I connected today. It’s all I’ve seemed to know. It’s the one emotion I have been working to transmute my entire life into something meaningful, which brings me to today and the continual unraveling. Like Patsy said in this podcast interview (and I’m paraphrasing) when you start to pull one thread, the unraveling begins. And so it does. 

I pulled my thread of unraveling in 2014. However, it wasn’t until I went through the grief recovery program where I started to see the impact of that pulling I began five years earlier.

The process of unraveling continues for me, and it’s led to so many beautiful experiences and connections in my life. It led me to Reiki, which serves my curiosity and inspires me to continue to learn about energy (and whoah, have my eyes opened). I’ve continued to look for opportunities to continue to grow and expand my healing around relationships and complete education that will help me to serve others on a bigger scale (Online, One-on-One Grief Recovery, and Helping Children with Loss programs). And, I’ve found some incredible support along the way, too. These opportunities and people didn’t magically appear in my life. It all started with a strong desire to, like I said, transmute my suffering into meaning and serve a greater purpose in my life.

What I’ve also been learning is where I’ve been standing in my own way, which brings me back to the single palmar creases on both of my hands (which, by the way, one of my children also has and makes total sense to me #icanrelate) and what a palm reader once told me. She said these are gift lines. Yes, they have their challenges, but the gift is in intense focus and (along with my other “gift marker”) my ability to “deep dive” with people into their own emotions. In a nutshell, I was made for the work that I do. And, on days where I’m feeling discouraged, it’s been easy to forget that. On days where I feel like doing this work full-time is so far away on the horizon, I have to remind myself. Keep grinding. Keep showing up.

There is no one standing my way – but me. And, for whatever reason, I’ve felt this hard today. Ironically, I had not written this week’s blog post in advance, as I’ve always done. Perhaps this message is divine timing for you. That you, too, are the single denominator standing in your way. It’s not your circumstances (trust me; I live through my version of “suffering” each day). It’s not your physical health. We create these circumstances long before they become “problems.”

I have so much more to write on this, but I’m still unpacking this big a-ha I had for myself today. So, I’ll leave you with some wise words I came across today that struck me (because I’m in the work of feelings):

When feelings become the means of thinking or if we cannot think greater than how we feel, we can never change. To change is to think greater than how we feel. To change is to act greater than the familiar feelings of the memorized self.

Stay tuned to the unraveling taking place – in our world, our communities, homes, and within our hearts. There has never been a more keen awareness in recent years, for this collective understanding of what isn’t working, what we desire to change, and where we need healing.

You can look at the current times as a life sentence for more suffering or an opportunity to set your inner-most self free. I’m choosing the latter. You, too?

Have a wonderful weekend, and thank you for reading. If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you in the comments, on social, or via email. 🙂

much love, victoria

The Ways Emotional Dis-Ease Impacts Life & Business

Emotional Dis-Ease

Have you felt like you’ve been on a rollercoaster ride, emotionally, lately?

I have.

My kids are now home due to COVID. So, aside from that, and all the other things come with life, work, and business, I’m tired. And, I know I’m not alone.

One thing that I’ve found that has helped me not to lose my marbles lately is taking at least 45 minutes every morning for myself. Every weekday, I do a workout. Periodically, I give myself Reiki. One day this week, I also journaled. The point is, taking time for my body, my heart, and my mindset has dramatically kept me from lashing out in frustration.

How often, though, do we go about our day without making our body, heart, and mindset a priority? How often do we lax on our self-awareness and go about our day mindlessly? A lot.

I recall many times throughout my life, where the littlest things would set me off. This response is not uncommon to us when we feel as if we’re on an emotional rollercoaster. So, how do you suppose this quick-to-anger, being easily poked by the bear – way of being is impacting your life, work, and business if you have one?

Back when I had my first business, I was struggling in a lot of ways emotionally. I was having physical symptoms, including unexplained body aches, headaches, and hair loss. Also, I had or have never been diagnosed with anxiety. However, since having a better understanding of our energy, I look back in hindsight and recognize that the physical angst I would often feel was anxiety. Even today, when my thoughts start to tailspin around overwhelm (which I’ve come to learn is due to lack of prioritizing) and the future, I begin to have episodes of heart arrhythmia and feel like I could jump out of my skin. Again, I don’t know if this is what anxiety feels like to those diagnosed, but this is when I know I am out of energetic balance.

I’ve come to understand that grief and energy go hand-in-hand. I do feel that is why Reiki found me after going through the grief recovery program and starting to unravel the years of emotional dis-ease I had carried.

When I look back on the years when I first joined the workforce at 14 and onward, I recognize (with new awareness) what emotional dis-ease (i.e., grief) has cost me. There were many jobs I never applied at because I didn’t feel like I had a snowball’s chance in you know what of getting the job. I also got so scared about the future, finances, and all the things when it came to college. I spent a weekend in a dorm when I turned 18 to pack the car and leave before ever giving myself a chance. I gave up on myself before I even tried. And, all because of fear and money.

I did not trust myself. I did not understand intuition and how to tap into it. I always looked to the external for affirmation that I was doing the right thing or looking for permission or just someone to tell me what to do. It was this confusion, and yet, also a knowing that I could do hard things that led me to join the military. If money was the problem in attending college, well then, I found my solution. What I didn’t realize was that I still had to pay that money upfront (which, I believe, is still the case).

I’ve learned to become resourceful through struggle, but I’ve also learned how to be resilient. That said, it’s taken me decades to dig in and tap into how to utilize my resourcefulness and resiliency. You see, when we’re emotionally suffering, it’s often difficult to see potential and possibility – in ourselves. Our minds become a fog of illusion that we’re okay and fine. However, if we take a birds-eye view of our life, we often see that we have blocks that keep us repeating the same self-sabotaging behaviors. Or, we become hyper-focused on performance, results, and outcomes – all the while neglecting ourselves and those we love (hello, burnout)!

Below is a rundown list of all the ways, I believe, emotional dis-ease creates blocks and hinders our progress in life and business. These are ways I self-identify with, and I am sure there are many more I haven’t thought of that I could add. If this list resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you! I’m curious if there are others I haven’t included that you found to be true for you?

The Ways Emotional Dis-Ease Impacts Life & Business

  • self-worth issues
  • questioning/second-guessing every decision or difficulty making decisions
  • seeking outside validation/affirmation
  • unable to see other perspectives
  • lack of discernment 
  • physical symptoms
  • money drama – money comes, money goes // lack of growth in account or savings
  • quick to anger
  • fractured relationships
  • difficulty connecting with others
  • feeling like others are out to get you // victim mindset
  • trust issues
  • lack of self-awareness or not conscious of your physical body // desire to “numb-out.”
  • avoid important issues within life or business 
  • not sure what you value
  • don’t see the value you bring to others
  • lack mindset // inability to see opportunities
  • difficulty focusing/concentrating
  • procrastination // difficulty prioritizing & planning

The more of these that resonate with you, the more likely you’ve got some emotional weeds in your heart garden that need some tending and pulling. With each weed we pull, we’re clearing out space for more beauty to enter and unfold in our lives.

There is hope on the other side of all of this. I’ve been having some wonderful conversations with some incredible healing hearts for my podcast, Grieving Voices. And, these guests have proven this to me over and over. There’s no such thing as joy or sorrow – the two co-exist within a matter of moments of each other. However, when the scales tip further one way than the other in a way that doesn’t sit right with you, then you have a choice to do something about it.

There is no timeline for healing emotional dis-ease. However, how much time are you willing to give sorrow? How much of your life are you ready to gamble? We all reach a point where we get sick of our own crap. My friend, that’s when the magic happens. That fire in your belly for wanting more for yourself and your loved ones – it’s the stuff that dreams are made of, and we often give up on our dreams before we give ourselves a chance. We often don’t think there’s hope.

Take your life by the horns, my friend. It’s waiting for you. Will there always be painful and challenging things that put a boulder in your way? Of course. Life isn’t a fairy tale or movie. But, why write the final chapter before you’ve lived all the chapters in-between? Resiliency is learned through experience and growth, a by-product of suffering. I don’t care which way you slice it. It’s just some people are more willing to allow the unfolding than others. Fear and resistance keep the rest stuck in the past.

The future will not be found in the past. It took me 30+ years to discover this. That said, our pain often becomes our message. And, maybe that’s just a part of my walk here on earth. I don’t know. As a podcast guest stated recently, “I feel more awake now than ever.” And you know what, this woman lost her 17-month-old son suddenly. A loss I cannot even fathom. So, please don’t take it from me; tune in to the podcast and hear the stories of hope for yourself—just incredible stories I am honored to share with listeners. I feel so inspired by their faith and trust in what is possible for them. And, for a time (like myself), they didn’t see it for themselves, either. 

There are gifts of grief (i.e., emotional dis-ease/suffering). Get empowered by what is possible, regain emotional control of your life (and body), and watch that list above fade into the rearview. 

much love, victoria

 

 

 

P.S. Need a lifeline of hope? Reach out to me. Here to serve and create more healing ripples in the world. 

Self-Worth and Healing

grief self worth and healing

Do you believe you are worthy of healing? It sounds like an odd question, I know. Really, though – do you?

If you believe it’s an easy “yes,” do your actions reflect that you are?

For many years I struggled to cope with the events of loss and trauma that occurred during my childhood. Well into adulthood, my self-worth was in the toilet. During my teen years, although I was pretty thin, I would wear baggy clothes. I hid my body. I hid a lot during those years. I didn’t have a boyfriend until going into my senior year (even then, I couldn’t believe it). And, I had big aspirations for my life (travel was at the heart of every endeavor I considered).

As you know, life can be planned down to the letter. However, life always has other plans. Plans that are sometimes better than what we imagined, too.

However, what had held me back in so many ways was the fact I did not feel worthy of good things. And, even when I thought I had a good thing, I anticipated it (or them) going away or leaving, which is what happened, too. Relationships in my life were either strained or ended. I never let anyone get too close. I allowed others to take advantage of me (I didn’t know what boundaries were). I didn’t appreciate the good things I did have (including my job that I should have been fired from more than once). I even flooded out of my apartment. It was as if, if I had both shoes, I was creating chaos for one to drop, or, I was barely hanging on because I was losing one. Do you know what I mean?

It wasn’t until my now-husband came back into my life after many years of friendship, where he showed me what I was worth to him. And, slowly but surely, I began to understand my worth and how I contribute to the world around me (positive and negative). I discovered faith (and hope) for the first time, and I started to turn my life around. But, this didn’t happen until my eyes were opened to the fact that I was worthy of good things because I am, and no other reason was needed. I didn’t have to do or be anything to anyone else to be worthy. I didn’t have to perform or be someone I wasn’t to please someone else – I could be me, and that was enough. This awareness was only the start, though. Because even from this time, it took me another sixteen years (sixteen years!!!!) to put that feeling of unworthiness to bed – for good. And, it didn’t happen until I resolved all of the trauma and pain that was the catalyst for it in the first place.

Our lack of self-worth is very much tied to childhood grief. Whether your parents were divorced, a parent died, you were sexually abused (a big, big one),  adopted, in foster care, you likely weren’t raised knowing you were in charge of your own agency. Meaning, you weren’t encouraged to make your own decisions (reasonably, of course, for safety reasons) and weren’t allowed to express your opinions. Perhaps you grew up in survival mode.

I’ve learned so much about the power of choice after going through what I have gone through in my life. Fortunately, my husband and I are on the same page as we raise our children, too. We do not force our children to do anything they do not want to do. And, we ask probing questions to help them come to their own conclusions about what matters to them.

Something as simple as having the ability (and choice) of not wanting to play a sport serves them well into adulthood. We don’t force our kids to do any sport they don’t want to do. However, once they start, they’re finishing. It is important to us, as parents, they learn what the word commitment means. These lessons serve them later when their friends have all gathered around and “they’re all doing it (drinking or whatever “it” is),” and they have the know-how and the conviction to say “no.” Regardless of what others may think, and because they’ve flexed their “decision-making” muscle, they can confidently stand by what they feel is right for them. I always ask my kids, “what does your gut tell you?” And, I conclude with “it will never steer you wrong.” I also tell them that nothing good happens after midnight. But, isn’t that the truth in adulthood, too? Lol!

What does the power of choice have to do with self-worth and healing?

Had I learned the skills and been encouraged to exercise my right to choose, I would have known and understood that my desires had worth. I would have grown up understanding that, what I feel in my gut, is what is right for me and would have created boundaries early on to protect myself from further pain and suffering. Instead, what happens, is we become detached from our own inner-guidance system. That muscle doesn’t get flexed, so we look to the external for all of the answers. We don’t know where to go, what to do, or why we’re here. We lose touch with ourselves. And, we base our decisions on the feelings/actions/behaviors of others.

Grief is the catalyst for lack of self-worth, and our learned behavior and generational teachings influence us like gasoline on a fire.

You want to build self-worth and heal? It takes inner-work, and it’s anything but easy. 

If you don’t have boundaries in your life, aren’t sure what they are, or are reading this feeling like nothing you ever do is good enough, that you’re everyone’s doormat, and why bother because life only seems to hand you lemons? Start by digging deep, my friend. There’s healing to be done. And, you are worthy of it. Always have been, and forever will be. If only you could see it.

Hope and healing is just an email away: [email protected] 

much love, victoria

 

 

If You Wait Until You’re Ready

If you wait until you're ready

If you wait until you’re ready

You will, forever, be waiting.

I self-published my book in September 2017. I had been talking about it for two years.

I talked about becoming certified in grief recovery. Within weeks I had registered.

I had talked about looking into reiki certification. Within weeks I registered.

My podcast, Grieving Voices, is launching this coming Tuesday, June 30th. I had been talking about this with some entrepreneur gal-pals for several months, and next week it finally happens!

There are many examples in-between 2017 and today of the negative self-talk going on in my head of things I want/wanted to do but never got around to – countless. I have filed so many ideas in the back of my mental file cabinet over the years.

However, when it has come to things I have been so sure about; those things I feel, in my bones, I am being pulled to do, my hesitation time has greatly decreased.

Nowadays, if I feel a pull at my heart, and I recognize it as an inner-knowing, I won’t hesitate to pull the trigger.

My intuition has not steered me wrong in this way – yet.

There are other goals/desires that have been stewing in my heart, too. And, I find myself pushing pause. Perhaps it’s just not the right timing. Perhaps, there is a better, more fitting offering that will come along? I don’t know, but for now – I wait. I’m leaning but I’m not feeling that pull, and I haven’t yet identified why.

You may be thinking: “What the heck?” I know I said that if you wait until you’re ready, you’ll be waiting forever. And, so why am I saying then, that there are goals/desires I’m being passive about? The difference between the things I acted upon and the things I haven’t is based solely on my intuition.

Is it your intuition talking or is it excuses that keep you from pulling the trigger on that thing you desire?

And, how do you know the difference?

Simple. What is the conversation going on in your head around it? If it is intuition leading the way, we will seek out and draw in education/support/guidance to make the thing we feel pulled to do – happen.

The podcast idea took me several months to execute because I struggled with all the things related to podcasting. It takes time and effort to create content on yet another platform. And, not to mention there’s a learning curve, which also takes time. However, my intuition was telling me: “Victoria, put your message where your mouth is!” If I truly meant that I wanted to reach a wider audience to share my message about the importance of grief education (like I was to everyone and myself) than I best do something about it. I needed to jump in before I was ready. Because I was never going to “be ready.” There always would’ve been another reason (i.e., excuse) to wait until I was ready.

Before I wrote my book, I was full of excuses (in my head). I didn’t know the path and, was getting wrapped around the axel surrounding the logistics, how-to’s, and what-not; not knowing that was keeping me stuck. Sometimes, we just need a guide or a coach to pave the way for us. Sometimes, we need to lean on someone else who’s a few steps ahead to shed light on the next steps forward. And sometimes, by George, we just need to jump headfirst and allow ourselves to become educated along the way – missteps, failures (i.e., learnings), hiccups and all.

There’s a caveat to all of this, however. We may lean on procrastination tactics while believing we are executing on our intuition, too. If we’re using education/support/guidance as a form of procrastination than we’re excusing ourselves from taking the leap. See the difference? I was notorious for doing this when I started my photography business. I jumped in head first, but there were leaps I avoided taking for years because I felt like there was always more for me to know. I know, today, that doing this stunted my potential right out of the gate. I was more invested in staying comfortable with what I knew at the time. I felt like I was a fearless person because hey, after all, I took the leap to be an entrepreneur. However, I was an entrepreneur that was comfortable with not playing a bigger game.

So, when it comes to working through the emotional “stuck-ness,” are you filled with resistance and hesitation? I get how fear of the unknown can derail even our best of intentions. However, this is what fear is: False Evidence Appearing Real. Our perception is given a lot of power in our decision-making. If you can be an observer of those fear-filled thoughts, acknowledge they’re just that – thoughts, you can choose to take, even the smallest action, toward the next best feeling, which could be the feeling of frustration. Do you see how frustration can move us into action? When I get so annoyed no one else is cleaning out the fridge, eventually, I get so frustrated I just do it. We can apply this idea of reaching for the next best feeling to every area of our lives.

I challenge you to dig deep into why you’re not doing certain things you feel pulled to do and then, pay attention to the monkey chatter going on in your mind as you go about your day. Keep asking yourself “why” until you get to the root of the stalling/inaction.

If you’re on the fence about grief recovery, I’d ask you: “what’s stopping you?” If the answer is financial, I encourage you to reach out. I never want money to not be a reason you don’t help yourself. Of course, I can’t do this work for free, but I am willing to work with someone who is willing to do the deep, heart work in their lives. Uncomfortable with technology and completing the program online? Again, reach out to me. I can explain how it all works and what to expect. Concerned about the time it will take? I know, as a mom, employee, and business owner, I am pulled in many directions every single day. However, what if I told you that last week alone, my phone time use was over 5 HOURS! FIVE HOURS!!! I would bet, if you added up your phone, tv, mobile time – you’d be pretty close to that, too (maybe even more). And, I don’t even watch much television! I think most of us have no clue how much time we truly waste in a day with our faces buried in screens. And, we wonder why our youth are married to their phones! Ha! We, adults, are just as guilty!

Do you see how easily we come up with excuses rather than legit, not-in-our-control reasons?

Sifting through the reasons from the excuses can be a painful pill to swallow. However, only a refreshing glass of awareness can help you choke it down. What awareness are you avoiding to recognize? What desire, placed within your heart, are you waiting to do something about until you feel ready?

More importantly – why?

much love, victoria

 

 

 

P.S. The presentation I gave earlier this week is available. See the form below and please, share this with a griever that you know or love. 

 

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