Get To Know Me

 

SHOW NOTES SUMMARY:

Consider this our first meeting at a coffee shop; it’s like speed-dating for friendship. And, I LOVE coffee (black or, lately – iced) and deep conversation with friends.

In this first episode (I wasn’t able to label it “Episode 0” as I mention), I answer the basic “get to know you” questions, how this podcast came about, and, in under 13 minutes! This will likely be a record I won’t often break. Unless, however, brevity suddenly becomes a strong suit.

So, after you’ve finished listening to this quickie first episode, I’d love to hear from you! Please find me on Instagram or Facebook, and send me a message and let me know you’ve listened and what we have in common! And, if you feel like this is a podcast others will enjoy, I’d love for you to share it!

Here are links to my grief story and the other things I mentioned in the episode:

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If you or anyone you know is struggling with grief due to any of the 40+ losses, there are free resources available HERE.

If you’d like to share your grieving voice on the show or want to share your thoughts about an episode, please send an email to [email protected].

Are you enjoying the podcast? Check out my bi-weekly newsletter, The Unleashed Letters.
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WAYS TO SUPPORT THE SHOW:

CONNECT WITH VICTORIA (@theunleashedheart):

Episode Transcription

Victoria Volk 0:08
This is Victoria of theunleashedheart.com and you’re listening to Grieving Voices, a podcast for hurting hearts who desire to be heard. Or, anyone who wants to learn how to better support loved ones experiencing loss. As a 30 plus year griever, and an advanced grief recovery method specialist, I know how badly the conversation around grief needs to change. Through this podcast, I aim to educate grievers and non-grievers alike, spread hope, and inspire compassion towards those hurting. Lastly, by providing my heart with the ears and this platform, grievers have the opportunity to share their wisdom and stories of loss and resiliency. How about we talk about grief like we talked about the weather? Let’s get started.

Hello and welcome to this first episode, where you will get a chance to get to know me and hear the backstory behind how this podcast got started – or why, for that matter.

So grief came into my life like a hurricane. My father died of colon cancer 26 days after my eighth birthday. And as you can imagine that changed the trajectory of my life. And as it does for a lot of us when we experience a devastating loss. And, there have been decades of storms that have followed since then. However, in 2019, I discovered hope in the grief recovery method, and since then, I have done and experienced things I never imagined, including the launching of this podcast. Also since becoming a certified grief recovery methods specialist in March 2019 and Austin, Texas, I’ve also become an Usui holy fire Reiki Master, and soon will complete my Karuna holy fire certification as well. Now you might be thinking big deal, you want a cookie or a medal. And maybe you’re thinking congratulations. Either way, those feelings are valid. And I do believe they’re a reflection of the climate in your heart. Because I feel like when we are so consumed by our own grief, it really is hard for us to be fully present for us to feel even happy sometimes for other people. I am speaking from experience, which is the very point I want to make, and sharing these accomplishments. And I didn’t even mention public speaking. And the fact that I’ve given up alcohol for six months now and feeling like, for the first time since I became a mom, that I’m not a basket case; I now have two teens and a preteen. And this has all happened since March of 2019.

You see, once we start to crack open and unravel the pain and undress it, beautiful things meet us on the other side. For me, it’s been entrepreneurial and family-oriented changes. For you, however, maybe what you uncover rediscover about yourself, and how you evolve will be unique to you. But my message is this: I am not the same version of myself I was before March 2019. I am a better one because I decided I needed myself and for my family – I decided what I needed and, I took action. So because I know how grateful recovery has not only changed my life, the lives of my clients, and the hundreds of thousands of others around the globe, I cannot – not talk about grief, grief, recovery, and hope in this podcast enables me to expand my reach and share this message. But there’s always hope. And it’s about time that we talk about grief like we talk about the weather.

Now that I’ve covered why this podcast came to be, there’s a little bit about me. I’m approaching 18 years of marriage with my husband, Tony. And together we have three kids, a 15-year-old boy, a 13, almost 14-year-old girl, and an 11-year-old girl. We live in South Central North Dakota, where the area is actually known as the iron curtain. Pretty much German Russian families live here; lots of stubborn Germans and, I can say that because I’m one of them.

I mention this because our belief systems play a huge role in how we’re taught by our parents and generationally, how to address and communicate about grief. And the common theme that I see in the German Russian heritage is, it’s more like we don’t talk about it. We don’t share it with anyone outside the family, that death is a part of life. And we need to be strong and try our darndest to not show emotion. And heaven forbid, we’d be honest about how we feel. And if you do, there will be consequences and ramifications for doing so. More on this aspect down the road, but back to my story behind this whole kind of gig.

I have a pretty eclectic background in a variety of interests. And if you follow the enneagram or are familiar with it, I am a southern so shout out to my fellow sevens out there. I’m also an INFP on the Myers Briggs, and a Pisces. So needless to say, I’ve felt pretty much misunderstood my entire life totally into personality tests if you haven’t gathered, but what led me to investigate myself, was the fact that I felt completely messed up as if something was internally wrong with me. And I’m here to tell you that if what you’re hearing is resonating, that you are not messed up, you’re human. And you’ve likely experienced many grief experiences and trauma as well as myself. If you really want to understand more about my grief story, I did publish a book in 2017 called The Guided Heart: Moving Through Grief and Finding Spiritual Solace, and you can find that on Amazon.

Apart from raising a family or let’s be honest, my kids raising me in many ways, and the accomplishments I’ve had and already shared, I’ve been an entrepreneur since 2008. When I picked up a camera and dove headfirst into photography. I had a home studio, and much of that time I specialized in seniors and weddings. However, in 2015, I officially closed that business to pursue writing. My life before family included various service industry jobs, and most of them are in the medical field. I am also a veteran having served in the North Dakota Army National Guard as a combat medic in Iraq as well. My life has been one of service, which is something I value along with honesty, freedom, and integrity. It is through my work today as an advanced grief recovery methods specialist, Reiki Master, author, writer, and now podcaster, where I find purpose and meaning in my life. Being a mom was never enough for me. And I’ve known this since I was a child. My life has been one long adventure. And I’m thrilled to share the next chapter with you, my dear listener, and more importantly, to share all the knowledge, wisdom, and heartbreak along the way. Because I know that for me, there is more to come.

Sadness over a loss never goes away. But through this platform, I want you to understand that the painful feelings and the heaviest corners of your heart, do not and I repeat, do not have to derail your entire life. There is meaning and purpose to discover in our pain. And it’s our human nature to look for it and to uncover it. But until we become like a buffalo and move through it, we’ll never know where healing may lead. I sure as heck didn’t think that in March 2019 that I’d be on here saying all this to you right now. There’s so much for society to learn about grief. Many people right now are painfully aware of all of the rocks they’ve been carrying in their backpacks. And many have been adding rocks their entire lives. Every rock is a weight of emotional dis-ease, leaving us restless, hurting, and stuck. I’ve been able to over time, reduce my load considerably. And the work never ends. Because there’s always, always another thing to uncover, heal, and work through. We have an entire life of pain, conditioning, and unhelpful teachings to process. This work takes time. You didn’t find yourself feeling the way you’re feeling right now overnight, you’re for sure not going to wake up tomorrow completely healed doing this work. However, if hope is what you need, you’ve found it. And that’s where the action comes in.

In closing, I want to thank you for allowing me time in your ear. And if you’re like me and enjoying listening while driving or cleaning, that’s awesome. And if you’re listening while relaxing in a chair, even better, I hope you hear me. And know, I speak with wholehearted truth when I say that if you do nothing else, but listen to this podcast and share it with another hurting heart, that you are being of service to yourself and others because grief education is where transformation starts. This small action alone is progress. So give yourself a hug for me will ya? And, from one griever to another, I thank you.

I’ll be back next week where we’ll start to get into the nitty-gritty of grief and talk about the definition of it. Because grief, as you’ll come to learn is far more than about death alone. Be sure to check out the show notes where I’ll share links to the grief recovery method, the enneagram Myers Briggs, my book, and also more information on Reiki energy healing, if you’re unfamiliar with that, from my heart to yours, thank you for listening. If you liked this episode, please share it because Sharing is caring. And until next time, give and share compassion by being a heart with ears. And if you’re hurting know that what you’re feeling is normal. Natural much love my friend.

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